tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post8838249779160743711..comments2023-09-17T10:16:04.077-04:00Comments on Land of Bean: FearsCaraBeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04614627167922944626noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-18337473688709180842010-05-26T20:40:58.027-04:002010-05-26T20:40:58.027-04:00I related a similar story (happened to another fri...I related a similar story (happened to another friend, not me) to a friend who is a Marine, and he made a valid point that I will never forget - Trust Your Instincts - it will save your life. You knew the hooded guy was bad news when you saw him. So the next guy wasn't. No harm done. It isn't paranoia, its being a smart and observant person. <br />And this was a very well written post by the way - my heart is pounding for you and I can totally see you in both moments.NICKIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05918315917202471513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-34048452656274830642010-05-12T13:44:36.413-04:002010-05-12T13:44:36.413-04:00Wow, you now have made me an emotional wreck! It ...Wow, you now have made me an emotional wreck! It was hard for me to read, but I couldn't stop reading. I'm so glad you and the little one are okay. Thanks for sharing...it is a fragile world we live in, and I am with you--it is so important to be vigilant. I sometimes am a little too nice, and I'm learning more and more to go with my gut no matter if it means I will offend someone. Great post!Babe in Babelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17492994127366993720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-38830439669312329732010-05-11T21:37:03.236-04:002010-05-11T21:37:03.236-04:00That is terrifying. It's hard not to let all t...That is terrifying. It's hard not to let all the what ifs be crippling. There is so much scary out thereBrandy@YDKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11362084419708971995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-91865300810780205152010-05-05T14:24:41.905-04:002010-05-05T14:24:41.905-04:00I can't believe such a horrific thing happened...I can't believe such a horrific thing happened to you. I am petrified of guns more than so many other things. I had a gun pointed at me once, when we were driving and had these teenagers throw showballs on our car, my husband slowed down to tell them off, and all I remember seeing is the gun... we filed a report with the cops, etc. It was scary as all heck. And once, years ago, in the year 2000, my husband owned a computer store, and he was help up at gun point. I wasn't there, but I can imagine his fear.<br />What you went through and what you survived, that day, you'll never forget, and it has changed you, for sure. Fear like this doesn't just go away. <br />"Better safe than sorry" - I totally believe that, in every circumstance, especially when we're with our children. Good for you for hurrying back into your car and locking your doors. I think we DO have a lot to worry about and especially after what you went through, well, it's normal to be extra worried and fearful. I wish I worried less, but I can't, it's just who I am. I'm sorry you went through that, my friend. HUGS.Loukiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03066879990007701379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-42374961574721552872010-05-04T12:09:16.361-04:002010-05-04T12:09:16.361-04:00I was just talking to my sister about a similar si...I was just talking to my sister about a similar situation I was in when I was young & stupid. And even though I haven't talked or thought about it in years it was then (and now again) that I realize how much it still impacts me. <br /><br />I'm totally paranoid about stuff. Every bump in the night freaks me out. And I wish I weren't like this most of the time. It gets tiring.<br /><br />Maybe we could get a group discount for some counseling?Brandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16775110752834313420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-84858949565223988572010-05-04T10:09:13.318-04:002010-05-04T10:09:13.318-04:00Wow. First, how did I miss this post? And second...Wow. First, how did I miss this post? And second? WOW. You're not paranoid. You are a product of what society has created. And it's heightened when you become a mom. <br /><br />That was truly scary. I felt it and I wasn't even there! Great post because it's a reminder to all of us to keep alert. That guy sounded like a pyscho to me as I read this. I actually think maybe your reaction and quick thinking might have frayed his intent. Whatever that was.sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07183605567090197137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-66554986662077685362010-05-01T22:43:57.284-04:002010-05-01T22:43:57.284-04:00Whew! I think I was breathing hard by the time I g...Whew! I think I was breathing hard by the time I got to the end. I'm so glad that you and your friend weren't physically hurt during the mugging.Fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15358728869887041648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-71197310449758921772010-05-01T01:00:18.520-04:002010-05-01T01:00:18.520-04:00oh dear girl - I am so sorry you had to experience...oh dear girl - I am so sorry you had to experience this! But, I agree - be keen to your senses!tiarastantrumshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03036618235332598079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-271810224278651372010-04-30T20:51:10.448-04:002010-04-30T20:51:10.448-04:00I am finally getting around to reading this post C...I am finally getting around to reading this post Cara and boy, do I feel like a big piece of poo. I need to be more aware of my surroundings. I really should have stayed with you till you were driving away, I think I let my guard down during the daytime though. This was very well written, full of suspence. I just wish it was fiction though, I am sorry you had to go through that (both times).katienryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17409718901629149232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-71209392681545867632010-04-29T21:49:11.623-04:002010-04-29T21:49:11.623-04:00My husband found the lawn chairs that were neatly ...My husband found the lawn chairs that were neatly stacked along the fence sitting dead center in our yard today. In the middle of the afternoon. Someone had been there but we don't know who. I'm trying not to be totally freaked out about that. It's hard for me not to succumb to overwhelming paranoia AND to pay attention to my instincts. <br /><br />Sometimes I wonder about whether we should stay in the city. Raising kids in the city is challenging but on the other hand where you live had nothing to do with what you experienced today.Stephaniehttp://www.neurosesgalore.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-16127939981062013362010-04-29T21:44:23.970-04:002010-04-29T21:44:23.970-04:00I'm sorry, Cara. No one deserves to be violate...I'm sorry, Cara. No one deserves to be violated in any manner. It can be hard to let that all-encompassing fear go. 2 very close people to me have had horrific things happen to them that altered the way our families view the world. I still try to live freely and trust everyone first instead of be scared, but the acts of violence didn't happen directly to ME, so the fear isn't as strong. <br /><br />Sigh. I don't know what I was trying to say. The timer is going off and everyone's whining and I wanted to tell you I love you and am sending you a hug.tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-78147175655297537222010-04-29T19:07:53.294-04:002010-04-29T19:07:53.294-04:00Shit. I had chills reading that. Very freaking sca...Shit. I had chills reading that. Very freaking scary.Scary Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00885710131012274860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-88535183459763680092010-04-29T15:55:53.523-04:002010-04-29T15:55:53.523-04:00I'm so sorry that happened to you! Wow, how sc...I'm so sorry that happened to you! Wow, how scary. And what a hassle to replace your ID and other things in your purse.<br /><br />You might be interested in the books The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift. The first one is about how our natural instinctive fear can protect us, and the second is how parents can use that to protect their children.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03724228599717695914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-59175460498914824222010-04-29T08:47:37.164-04:002010-04-29T08:47:37.164-04:00Always, always, always listen to the hairs on your...Always, always, always listen to the hairs on your neck (Spidey sense)...I so get this post, raising kids in the city is scary. Then again, I think everything is getting scary these days:/Cynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00625673916138703709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-74743513799488156302010-04-29T08:43:45.047-04:002010-04-29T08:43:45.047-04:00Oh, Cara. Ugh.Oh, Cara. Ugh.Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16084155319027653933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-58734161079246834952010-04-29T00:26:00.105-04:002010-04-29T00:26:00.105-04:00I have anxieties like this, especially since I bec...I have anxieties like this, especially since I became a mother, and I've been fortunate enough never to have experienced such violence firsthand. I always battle between following my intuition and worrying about offending whoever it is I'm suspicious of. Now, I will always risk offending. Thank you for sharing this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-79345538179777624372010-04-28T20:01:31.089-04:002010-04-28T20:01:31.089-04:00That's exactly what the police told me when I ...That's exactly what the police told me when I was "jumped" for my backpack in college. Use your 6th sense. I felt weird that the guy behind me was trailing me for so long...<br /><br />now I know why. God-given 6th sense. Which I ignored.<br /><br />Never again.Alexandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00609629888008025050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-72839695251272382852010-04-28T19:44:40.467-04:002010-04-28T19:44:40.467-04:00I don't think there's anything wrong with ...I don't think there's anything wrong with being a little paranoid... like you said, you're now more aware of your "gut feeling" and that's a good thing.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13655298574868899841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-27680228892579177762010-04-28T16:58:25.944-04:002010-04-28T16:58:25.944-04:00I have never had an experience like yours before. ...I have never had an experience like yours before. I grew up in a high-crime area and was told to always be careful, but, thank goodness, nothing ever happened. The closest I ever came to a "dangerous" situation was having a man follow me around in a fabric store in an upscale mall, watching my two-year-old. I told the store clerks that I was fairly certain he was following me and left with my daughter while a clerk questioned him. Two days later it was reported in the news that the same man was being sought after by the police after another person reported he was following them and watching their one-year-old.<br /><br />That experience was enough to scare me. I don't know how I'd be if I had an experience such as yours--I think it's great how you kept your wits about you and stayed aware of everything.<br /><br />You are also a very eloquent writer!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-79499995594223951892010-04-28T16:24:13.099-04:002010-04-28T16:24:13.099-04:00It is sad that there are bad people in the world t...It is sad that there are bad people in the world that pray on others……especially young girls who are naive. It makes me sick that this happened to you. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was in my early 20s. It took a long time to get over the initial trauma and the fear of something happening again never goes away. Thanks for telling your story……it makes me feel less alone in the world. I would have done the exact same thing at the zoo that you did. Better safe than sorry!Judith Kaufmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00909477665972681887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-50361935466808204812010-04-28T15:26:54.833-04:002010-04-28T15:26:54.833-04:00My heart was racing throughout the post. Did you ...My heart was racing throughout the post. Did you watch the Oprah on the gift of fear? I didn't and actually deleted it from my DVR, but I should have watched I'm thinking now.<br /><br />So sorry you have to live with those memories, but agree that's it's better to trust your instincts and be safe not sorry.mephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03074153090546740903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-50976494817603761362010-04-28T14:45:01.500-04:002010-04-28T14:45:01.500-04:00Living in a city with crime can make us all parano...Living in a city with crime can make us all paranoid, but I think when you become a victim of that crime it makes it hard to go back. I understand your caution, especially where your baby is concerned.brainellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11067167871454642635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-19798333696071185832010-04-28T14:43:36.819-04:002010-04-28T14:43:36.819-04:00Cara, I know how you feel. I remember when you wer...Cara, I know how you feel. I remember when you were mugged. I think we were both mugged that very same year. I am still ultra paranoid as well. I think it never goes away. But sometimes I think if I had just been a little more paranoid when it had happened, maybe it wouldn't have happened in the first place. Because like you, I knew something seemed weird, and I ignored that voice in my head. I think it's all too common for us women to ignore our inner voice, because we're afraid we will fit the "hysterical female" stereotype. I hope one day more of us listen to our intuition even before something horrible validates that we should, because strong intuition is one of the many great qualities of our gender.Zahrahttp://www.roeandstuff.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-54196433723216398752010-04-28T13:12:22.507-04:002010-04-28T13:12:22.507-04:00Thanks for sharing. I hate that you went through ...Thanks for sharing. I hate that you went through that. There's no need for us to live in fear, but that doesn't mean that we live without care, either.Ronnicahttp://ignoranthistorian.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861518104298318602.post-88349053451241002572010-04-28T08:57:29.410-04:002010-04-28T08:57:29.410-04:00My parents brought me up to have a sense of cautio...My parents brought me up to have a sense of cautious fear, especially when it comes to strangers and being in vulnerable situations. I hated it then, being the trusting and naive girl that I was. But I KNOW that knowledge/fear has kept me out of situations that would've been dangerous.<br /><br />I would've done the same thing as you at the zoo. You just can't be too careful; when your instincts are screaming like that, I think it's God tapping you on the shoulder with a warning. You did good to listen to him.<br /><br />It sucks that we have to learn these kind of lessons at all. And then teach them to our babies. Trying to find that balance between careful but not paranoid...it's so hard.<br /><br />Well written post, Cara.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10916853180728593287noreply@blogger.com