Friday, August 1, 2008

The Never List Redux

I'm out of town this week, so I'm resurrecting a couple of posts from blog days past. I originally posted this when Sophie was about 4 months old and before I had really opened our blog up to the world. I have modified it some, to fit us today. As I reread it, I thought I might laugh at how much I/we have changed since then, but they pretty much all still apply. Oh, yeah, and this is one of those long posts I complain about. Ha.

This morning, shortly after I changed Sophie into her daytime clothes, I brought her downstairs so that I could make myself a cup of tea. I sat her in her bouncy seat which lives in the kitchen and dining room. I use it whenever I am cooking, eating, etc. I had just sat her down and she spits up on herself and the chair. As I am cleaning her and the chair up, I say to myself, out loud, "the chair has at least another puke in it." Meaning, it has already seen at least one and will be okay to continue use through this one and possibly more. And it occurred to me that a) this is very gross and b) this is something I never thought I'd do. So I decided to start a list of all the things I NEVER thought I'd do as a parent. THE OFFICIAL NEVER LIST (in no particular order)

1. Bring the baby into the bed with us. Yeah, broke that one on her first day home.

2. Let the baby sleep in our room for more than a couple of months. Neil practically had to pry her out of my arms to get me to start putting her in the crib at four months.

3. Leave her in an outfit that had been spit up on. Although if there's any significant amount, I will still change her, I would be changing her three times a day if my only criteria were that it had spit-up on it.

4. Leave myself in an outfit that had spit-up on it. Again, I would be changing three times a day if a small amount of spit-up required it.

5. Pick up a chew toy (are those for dogs?) that had fallen on the floor and give it back to her. At first, I faithfully washed each toy the moment it even brushed the floor. Now I blow on it (can you believe it?) and give it back to her.

6. Wear maternity clothes after the baby was born. Um, I hate to admit this, but I still have a few baby pounds to lose and if I'm not going out...

7. Breast feed. Dumb I know, but I was pretty weirded out by the idea pre-baby.

8. Breast feed for more than a couple of months. We're at 10 months now and counting. I would NEVER have thought I would be okay with going this long, but now the idea of giving it up makes me sad. In the beginning, six months seemed like a good length of time to shoot for, now I'm thinking, I can go a year. At a year, I'll probably be like, "well, heck, the rest of the world nurses for an average of two years."

Along those lines...whenever Sophie starts acting hungry, I ask her "Do you want some boobie?" Well, it occurred to me a couple of days ago that she is developing her speech right now and although she probably doesn't understand too many, if any, words, I really don't want her to start thinking of nursing in those terms. God forbid her first words are "I want some boobie!"

9. Not change her diaper when she's wet. This sounds worse than I mean it, but when we first brought her home, I changed her at the merest whiff of pee. Now, I squeeze her diaper and if its not stinky or FULL, its staying on. Those things are expensive and I'm tired of changing her 17 times a day. Although I do admit to occasionally giving her what I call a therapeutic change. Sometimes when she's fussy, changing her diaper seems to calm her. Even if she's not wet or poopie. I'm probably setting her up for some sort of weird fetish, but if it shuts her up and doesn't have any obvious negative impact, I'm doing it.

10. Wear my husbands clothes because none of mine fit. I'm wearing a pair of his pants now.

What things as a parent did you never, ever think you'd do?


  1. This is good, Cara.

    Things I never thought I'd do? Well, breastfeed for 12 months. Willingly sit up at all hours breastfeeding. Breastfeed through the pain of split-open and bleeding nipples (due to fungal yeast--gross, I know). Nurse in public (even though I was covered)...

    Are we noticing a theme here? Yeah, Nursing Nazi. That's me.

  2. When my brother & sister-in-law had their first child (& the first in our entire family) we all rolled our eyes at how they "over-indulged" and "didn't discipline" and "gave in too often." After I had my own child, I apologized PROFUSELY for ever thinking that I had any right whatsoever to think I knew what it took to be a good parent.

  3. Oh, hon, I threw my list out almost 11 years ago, when my eldest was born! As a parent, I have learned never to say never.

  4. "I want some boobie!" Hee hee! I also thought I would just nurse for six months, and Fly is almost two and we're weaning.

    I'm sure the never list is long for most parents!

  5. I've done everything on your never list except the one about chew toys, but that's because we don't have any pets!

    I never thought my toddler would eat hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and fish sticks as his main sources of protein.

    I never thought I would be one of those moms who buys a box of cookies as she enters the grocery store, opens it in the store (yes, I pay for it at the register), and then lets her son eat them just so she can grocery shop in relative peace.

  6. I had the same list as you. I'd also add though that I never wanted my daughter to know what fast food was but we indulge about once a month while we're running errands. Not to mention I never wanted my daughter to have chicken nuggets, fish sticks, pizza or hot dogs as a big component of a meal. But heck when you work outside of the house 40 hours (not including commute) and have a house to clean some nights if it has something healthy in it and is easy that's all I need to call it a meal.

    The other thing -and I HAVE to get better about this- is that I thought it would be super easy to get a sitter and have a night out with the hubby every now and then. However I can't bring myself to want to leave my daughter (1 yr old) any longer then I have to for work.


Give me some sugar, baby!