Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Nice Place To Visit

I wrote the other day about my struggle with the decision of whether or not to have more children. In the intervening week, I've thought about it on more than one occasion (okay, all the time) and I've come to a realization. I think my increasing awareness of all the babies is less about my possible desire for another child than it is about wanting my current kid back as a baby. It is nostalgia for those early, new days. The awe and wonder every moment brought.

I mean, seriously, how freaking cute is this kid?

However, as much as I want to revisit those days, I do NOT want to live there again. Strangely, the allure of mood swings, bloody nipples and sleep deprivation so intense I was concerned I might start hallucinating just aren't enough to suck me back in. I know, I'm crazy like that.

PS - I've been nominated for a Mobbie! You can vote once a day for one blog in each category (I'm nominated as a Family Blog) as well as for Best Overall Blog so please vote as often as you can.

Also, please vote for my friend John Waire in the Photography category. He is a super cool guy and his photos are absolutely gorgeous.


  1. The flipside is that the second one will probably not be anything like the first. You'll probably have one that sleeps through the night in a week. lol.

  2. Hey? did you now you're number one this morning on the Mobbies? SWA-EEET!

  3. You just haven't had enough time yet. You'll know when it's the right time to have another, if that is what is right for your family.

    Don't forget, you can sleep when you're dead. Really, it's overrated...

  4. I go through that all the time! I'd love to have another baby, and then I'm so glad my kids are at the age they are at. So instead I push my desires onto my sister to hurry up and get preggos. All the fun of playing with a baby and a good nights sleep when the leave!

  5. Did Heather say "Sleep is overrated?"

    I'm gonna have to break up with her. Sleep was my one selfish concern when it came to having another child. As in...when I found out I was pregnant with Caroline I immediately began praying for a child who loved to sleep. At night. Uninterrupted.

    Not for a healthy pregnancy...not for a healthy child...no, those requests came later. First and foremost was, "Lord, PLEASE make this one a sleeper. PLEASE!"

    No lie.

  6. She's soo cute! And it's true, looking at their baby pictures and remembering our babies when they were so little and tiny is awesome. And sleep will come back to you... eventually... although, not for a while. Might as well have another child now-ish, and get it all over with. You don't want to get back to sleeping 8 hour nights only to then get pregnant and back to sleeping 1 hour nights, you know? ;) I think when the time comes for you to have another child - if you decided to have another child - you'll know, and you'll be ready. For now, just enjoy your little girl. And any sleep you can get!

  7. You are so smart.

    I wish I was as smart as you!

    THAT was the pitfall I fell into my friend!

    The "where did my baby go???" followed by "let's have another one!"

    It's a vicious cycle that had to end. Even I knew that, but I was not stronger that it:( So I had to trick it!

    Before it hit again after Summer (which it has btw...get my gun!) we got him snipped in the throws of no sleep days and hurtin boobies and healing episiodomys.

    Of course I regret my decision some days...but I know I did what sane Becky did what was right for her. Lah lah Becky loves and misses the babies....{{awe...sigh!}}

  8. BTW that baby in red is delicious!

  9. Found my way over from the Baltimore Sun. We're in Baltimore too (Charles Village). We have one, 17 months, and are done. I had a very difficult pregnancy (hyperemesis) and then a reflux-y, colic-y baby.

    Now that she's 17 months she is challenging. Ruth sounds like your kid -- I read the description of her launching this way and that while your friend's kid sat in his stroller and thought, "Hey, that's my kid."

    But she's also lots of fun and interesting. Personally, I thought having a newborn was like having the most demanding potted house plant in the world.

    Anyway, the Bean is a cutie.

  10. The Bean is gorgeous.

    Second babies are a completely subjective decision. The ONLY person that can decide about your body is you. If you ALLOW other input in the decision - that's up to you - but bottom line - it's YOUR body, no one else's and only you know whether a second child is appropriate. On the other hand - you COULD always adopt and not go through the WHOLE thing.

  11. Don't jump without being more sure. You don't sound ready to have another one, and there is NOTHING wrong with big spaces between kids or with having a single child. Every family is different and as long as you love them, who cares how many you end up with?

  12. I'll admit that the topic of this post is probably my #1 motivating factor in having another so soon. Is that right? I don't know. I just replay these past 19 months over and over in my head and am so sad it is slipping by so fast. So hey, lets do it again! That picture is frame-worthy by the way.

  13. you know what, I totally know this longing. I left the same way when I was trying to decide if I should go through more treatments to have more kids. I longed for Hayden to be that baby again.

  14. I was going to comment on your post from a few days ago - can TOTALLY sympathize with your struggle. It's tough.

  15. Adorable pic!!

    And YES! I should make the jalapeno cornbread for EE. I will let Angie know! It was soooo yummy.

    Happy week!

  16. One is great. If you only want one, good. One is good. I am an only child. I think more can be fun, and hard, but now having two at once, I can certainly appreciate why one is sufficient.

  17. You are so wise. Good for you for coming to that realization before any of the baby madness ensued.
    But I hear you. I miss those tiny baby days with my daughter.

  18. I say give it time as well... I work with babies every single day, photographing them, and I have to say, it's tempting, but mine are now 10 and 13 and I have gone past that desire for another - but somewhere around when the last was 3, I *ALMOST* wanted another LOL! ;)

  19. Did you say bloody nipples?! ~shudders~

  20. My Arielle is 26 months. And growing way too fast. I miss those baby days, too... in some ways. And while I like that she talks to me now and tells me what she wants / needs, that is also a curse at times! I swear your little one sounds so much like mine - Arielle doesn't sit still for a minute!!

    But no more for me. The pre-eclampsia I had soured the experience for me. And now that I am hypertensive and on meds, I just don't want to do it again. Plus, those first months weren't fun - really, they weren't!

    Oh, and in case you wondered, I found you thru "Grin and Baer It".


Give me some sugar, baby!