Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Letter

Dear Women's Clothing Manufacturers,

I recently wrote a letter regarding some concerns of mine to your cohorts in the children's clothing manufacturing industry. I have not heard anything back from them, nor have I seen any changes. I do hope that you will be more responsive to my queries.

First off, what is up with sizes? I find that I am able to wear a three size range. How is this possible? I just don't think the macaroni and cheese I had for lunch can change me that much. Also, I recognize that different materials stretch differently, but as clothing experts, I would think you would be aware of this and compensate. I know there is an acceptable level of variation, but seriously? 2 inches in the waist? Is there any chance of adopting the men's clothing practice of sizing by waist and length? Even just in jeans?

Next, belt loops. Perhaps you are unaware that some women actually use belts for their intended purpose, that is, to hold their pants up. As such, the belt loops should be located evenly around the waistband. However, I find on almost all women's pants there is a surprising dearth of belt loops on the rear side of the pants. Thus, when I cinch my belt up, the belt slips up over the top of the pants leaving an unattractive and uncomfortable gap. All I ask is that you either add a few more belt loops or space them more evenly. If you're uncertain how to do this, please contact the Men's Clothing Manufacturers, they do it right.

I understand that low-rise pants are the rage right now among the younger set and that on a certain (very small) segment of the population, these are a flattering option. However, on anyone larger than a size 6 and older than 25, these low rise pants are ridiculous and uncomfortable. I don't ask for pants that come up to my armpits, but for all that is good and holy, can you please provide me with a reasonable selection of pants that don't require I get a Brazilian bikini wax?

As a woman whose hips are larger than her waist, and I think I'm not alone in this, I have a real problem with the infernal gapping that happens when the waist is too big. This is because the same dimensions are applied to size 0 as to an, ahem, 12. A size 0 has a much smaller waist to hip ratio, while a 12 has a larger one. There seems to be little accommodating for this fact, though. Therefore, in order to find pants that fit my hips, the waist is often way too big. And as much as I adore showing the world my granny panties when I sit down, I would love to not spend half my life hiking up my pants.

Finally, stripes. I think it is fairly well understood that horizontal stripes are not flattering. Why then are such a large percentage of women's shirts this infuriating pattern? And why are they all so dagblasted short? Mama needs coverage!

Okay, I think that's it for now. Thanks, in advance, for your consideration.

Cara

20 comments:

  1. I feel your pain sistah. There is a thing called something like "not your mom's jeans" that are intended to fix the low rider problem. Nordstroms's has them, I know. I can't wear them for my busted biscuit, and I can't tuck in, so low riders and a big shirt are my only way. I'm on the tummy tuck list for sure. Right after I get off my happy ass and go to the gym.

    Shopping sucks anymore.

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  2. I completely understand. I have a pair of the jeans that merecat is referring to and they are a dream. I actually won them on a blog - before I was a blogger! LOL

    Also, I will be reviewing something called isabelt that is a clear "belt" made to combat the gaping waistband and low ride pull up dance. When I try it out and write the review I will be sure to let you know.

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  3. I raise my coffee cup to you this morning! Hear Hear! You said that very well!

    They should also take into account that women have babies. Babies cause the body to have lumps/bumps in certain areas and REMAIN there. Fix your stupid patterns to make room for pouches people!

    And STOP making low rise jeans for children, you morons! I went to Pennys a couple years ago with my daughters. I asked the clerk for the section of 'normal' jeans. She literally LAUGHED at me. "Oh my dear, NO manufacturer makes normal jeans any longer!"
    Huh? Stupid, stupid stupid.

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  4. I'm liking the recent trend towards longer shirts. I need them to cover up the gapping that the low-rise pants allow. (and since I grew up with low-rise, I don't want higher pants, just lower shirts)

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  5. I agree with Ronnica :] I'm so used to the low-rider jeans now that any pair that rests above my pelvis makes me feel really uncomfortable or "dressed up". I just wear long shirts to try and make up for it!

    I have this horrible memory of our roadtrip in May -- we were in a hotel lobby after many hours of driving, I was wearing low-rider jeans and a too-short shirt, with my pink boy-cut undies like... three inches out of the top of my jeans, and I didn't even realize it until this gorgeous woman who was at LEAST my age walked into the lobby behind us -- and started giggling. How mortifying...

    Why do husbands not realize they can point out that kind of stuff when it's going to scar you for life!? ;)

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  6. I so agree w/ you on the low-rise thing! I hate the feeling of walking around and feeling like my pants are falling off!

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  7. You are a GENIYS. Genius. The world needs to read this. Clothing manufacturers need to read this.

    Brilliant. Utterly brilliant.

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  8. I second all of those. Especially the one about low-rise pants. I mean really?

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  9. I know what you mean about the short shirts ... I have a long torso and any regular shirt looks like I am trying to be Britany Spears.

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  10. Raising my glass to you, hon. I HEAR YA!!!!

    I especially hate that gaping feature by my waist. Makes you feel really attractive, right?

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  11. I hear you, sister! I couldn't find a single pair of pants that fit well, until Gap started releasing their "curvy" cut jeans and Banana Republic released their "contoured" line. We're not all built like 13 year old boys, thankyouverymuch.

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  12. Girl AMEN! I am tall chiquita, and I HATE that shirts are so short. I'm constantly tugging and pulling. Ugh!

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  13. Ha! Couldn't agree more...especially right now.

    As a testament to the disparity between sizes I'm currently fitting into 2 pairs of jeans, both from the Gap. One pair is a size 10 and does, indeed, Gap. The other is a size 8 that fit pretty much everywhere... except I can't button the waist. My pants are being held up by a wing, a prayer and a hair elastic.

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  14. You are hilarious!!!
    Love the letter....and I totally agree with you!!

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  15. LOL Too true!!! :)) Excellent post!!

    Thanks for visiting me on my BAtW day! :)

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  16. "Mama needs coverage!" - LOL!!

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  17. On the other end of the spectrum, what about all those super long, snug t-shirts? SO ANNOYING!

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  18. Preach on, sister. I want longer shorts and higher jeans that are still cool. Since I "just had a baby" (four months ago, I also hate the way that my flesh hangs over low rise jeans.

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  19. My mom sewed "darts" into all my pants until I graduated from college. These are just little seams in the waist, which allow me to buy jeans to accommodate my generous backside. They don't look that hard to sew...but I am lazy in my old age.

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Give me some sugar, baby!