Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday Top Ten: Reasons I May Not Actually Be A Girl

I know you've all been saying to yourselves, where oh where has the Friday Top Ten gone? I love lists, I really do, but doing the FTT started to feel a little flat, so I shelved it until I had something interesting to write. I didn't want to do it just to do it, juknow? But I've been inspired.

Lately, I feel a little on the outside. I just don't seem to fit in with the girl set. Obviously, I'm a woman, I have the scars from the fourth degree tears to prove it, but sometimes I don't think I'm a girl.

Top Ten Reasons I Don't Qualify For The Estrogen Club

1. I love Sci-Fi. Star Wars was my first love and it has only gone on from there. I'm about a half step away from showing up at Comicon in a Princess Leia costume. Btw, have you seen District 9? IT. WAS. AWESOME.

2. I am not a phone person. Which isn't to say that I don't settle in for the occasional telephonic gabfest, but days and days will go by where I don't talk to anyone on the phone other than Neil. And I'm okay with that.

3. I text, but like twice a week. I just don't have that much to share.

4. I don't enjoy shopping. Don't get me wrong, I like looking good, but I just don't enjoy spending much time having to think about it. I want in and out and done with it. And window shopping? Ranks right up there with a root canal.

5. I can't stand reality TV. American Idol, The Bachelor, So You Think You Can Dance, The Hills, Survivor and so on. Major snooze. And sometimes actually kind of creepy/sad.

6. I don't like cleaning. Who does, right? But many women seem to have this compulsion to do it, maybe it's a nesting instinct. Whatever it is, I don't have it. As evidenced by the shetland pony sized dust bunnies galloping around my living room.

7. I have no gift for interior decorating. I just can't seem to visualize the big picture. I would like to buy pages 17, 26 and 43 out of the Pottery Barn catalog and magically transport them to my house.

8. Despite using it for more than 20 years, I still feel hopeless and a little bit Tammy Fae whenever I attempt to apply makeup beyond my basics: bare minerals powder, concealer, mascara and lipstick.

9. I eat like I'm in a competition. Seriously, I can take down a sandwich like a python with its jaw unhinged.

10. Foreplay? Take it or leave it.

There you have it. I'm clearly not a girl. Can we still be friends?


  1. Okay - now I wish I was 30 years younger and we were both single - or at least willing.

  2. Oh, my kindred soul. I hate shopping. HATE! Also, more than basic makeup - totally intimidating! And yes, take it or leave it. ;)

  3. You're speaking my language, except for the sci-fi and the shopping. I kind of like shopping, though I never get a chance to go these days.

    I love to eat and feel that I am almost always eating more and faster than other women around me. Of course, I don't end up getting together with groups of women often . . . probably because I'm too lazy to pick up the phone!

    And cleaning? Puh-leeze.

  4. I have to admit, I'm pretty much a girly-girl.

    But differences make the world go round, so if you can accept me, I can accept you.

    And I can't stand reality TV, either.

  5. Wait...maybe I'm not a girl? Phew, I do like DWtS so I'm good;)

  6. Haha...I hate the phone, but I like #10!!!

  7. I have never quite thought of myself as not a girl. But...I like scifi. Have you read Robert J Sawyer or Octavia Butler? My book club constantly rolls thier eyes when I suggest books. Little do they know that these books will probably generate the best discussion we have ever had...

    And I don't shop. Unless it's for books. I don't clean. That is what housekeepers are for. I can't decorate. I don't do makeup. I eat. My hips provide the evidence. I despise the phone. And I just got text on my phone last month. But no one texts me.

    However...ummm...number 10...that is where we differ by miles :-)

  8. Okay, this was pretty good. Now I'm starting to question myself, lol!

    I could SO beat you in an eating competition. I'm not sure if I chew. :)

    Foreplay? No time for that. Actually, I find it a pain.

  9. I'm with you on 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9. Shopping, cleaning, decorating, phone chatting - not my thing. I was actually on the phone with my mother earlier this week saying "I suck at house cleaning" and she said, "Um, yes, you do."

    I am a text-a-holic though and while the main attraction in 10 is my favorite part, I like the beginning parts, too.

  10. Not only can we still be friends, but I'm pretty sure we're twins--- except for the reality tv thing, I'm obsessed. Oh and sci-fi.. I hate it. But replace those with a love for poker and a hatred for shoes, we're a match made in heaven :)

  11. Your husband has got to be over the moon:)

    He is thinking "JACKPOT!!!" LOL!

    (Especially 10, 4 and 1 :)

  12. You had me until the "foreplay" comment. I am not sure you ARE a girl, now...

  13. I reject your gender binary!

    I am a girl and I agree with a bunch of these things! I think it's because girls are not stuck with the role of being sci-fi hating shopaholics. :D

    I also hate dresses.

  14. I agree with you on most of these too. I am just not a girly-girl...there are times that I WISH I were (WHY???), but it just ain't me.

  15. I am so with you on 2, 6, 7, 9 and 10.

  16. I identify with quite a few off your list!!

  17. foreplay? take it or leave it. Hilarious.

    I'm a bit of tomboy. I want to look beautiful but want to spend zero time doing it.

    I never put on jewelry

    I don't wear make up very often

    and I don't cook or craft.

    Feel better?

  18. Definitely still friends. I hate the phone, put off calling people for weeks. Reality TV on the other hand, I have a small addiction.

  19. Oh my, we are going to get along famously! I could've written most of this list myself, save the reality tv one. I'm afraid that's one weakness I do have. But the other on. :-)

  20. Can we still be friends?
    I'm afraid we might be the same person.
    Except for the sci-fi. I leave that for my husband and his sister.
    Other than that, I answered yes to all of it.

  21. Yes, we may actually be the same person, no exceptions. I also love kung-fu movies and cannot operate a curling iron.

    I do like musicals though. Perhaps my only saving grace?

  22. I can BARELY iron, apply make-up or shop. Sewing on a button is all I can do in that department...really your husband doesn't care!

  23. ha ha - I agree with #1,2 & 3 - but I know I'm girly- when I was a kid and had to go into the house to ask my grandmother for a piece of cloth to hold a worm!

  24. AWESOME list!

    I'm beginning to think after reading that that I may not be a girl either! I hate reality TV (except America's Next Top Model), and I can't clean or interior decorate worth shit. Oh wait, but I do text and I do like the phone. Oh, and I do like foreplay. Okay, I'm a girl for sure. Still, I enjoyed reading that.

  25. Yeah, we can TOTALLY be friends because we'd never ever have to talk on the phone.

  26. I am totally numbers 3 and 5 with you. And sometimes 10.


Give me some sugar, baby!