Monday, March 22, 2010

Pucker Up

I have big lips.

I always have. Obviously. I've come to terms with the size of the appendages around the eating hole on my face. This wasn't always the way. There were many years where my dissatisfaction with my lips was only exceeded by my hate for my nose. My little sister teased me for years about them. Lest ye feel badly for me about this, you should know that I was merciless in my torture of her in return. There were no innocent victims.

As an adult, I've come to see that my lips are not the detriment I once thought they were. And big lip advocates like Angelina Jolie have gone a long way towards increasing acceptance.

But because of my lips, I have never once entertained the notion of using a lip enhancer. The last thing I need is MORE lip. Last week I was the lucky recipient of $100 of ELF cosmetics at the MomzShare party I attended. If you know ELF, you know that $100 goes a long, long way with them. As I was going through all of the goodies, creating two piles: one to keep and one to give away because it was the wrong color or something I couldn't/wouldn't use, I noticed there was a lip "plumper" included. Naturally, I put it in the give away pile. But my curiosity got the better of me and I found myself reading the box and opening it up.

Before I knew it, I had smeared the stuff all over my lips. And because I can't do anything halfway, I put it on nice and thick. Didn't want to miss a spot.

I'm not sure if that stuff is pepper or cinnamon or what, but good lord it burns like an egg on a sidewalk in late July. Turns out that is how it works, by agitating the sensitive skin. They should put a warning on the side of the box: THIS SHIT BURNS!

I suffer for fashion and vanity: hours and hours at the gym, high heel shoes, panty hose, spanx. I thank my lucky stars that this is one area where I can be fine with what I have.


  1. Ouch! Sounds like the teeth-whitening stuff. And the spanx. And, come to think of it, most of the things we do in the name of beauty. Except maybe the massages. =>

  2. Yikes! lol. I have one big lip, my bottom one. lol. I always liked it. I never go anywhere without it. LOL!

  3. LOL! I am totally laughing with you not at you, I promise.

  4. I have used that lip plumper stuff, and you are so right! For Isabel's 80's birthday party, some of the girls got a hold of that lipstick, and I was cracking up over their horrified expressions, puffy lips and all!

  5. Oh no... haha! I can't imagine getting a needle injected into my lips to make them fuller... that just sounds soooo painful, doesn't it?

  6. HAHAHAHA!!! That'll teach you.

    Maybe I can use that plumper shit on my chest?

  7. Dude...I wanted a pic with this post;)

  8. I second the call for a photo! A big bag of cosmetics to go through sounds like lots of fun! Does Sophie get to go wild with the discards?

  9. Damn, that's crazy!! Note to self: no lip plumper for me. So sorry it burned. But lucky for you, you don't need it! I think full lips are beautiful.

    And YES, I wanna see a photo of this!

  10. Ya know, after watching Sophie today, a little "run in" with lip plumper could keep her from ever playing with your things again! lol! Just kidding!! It was fun seeing you guys today! Can't wait for next time!

  11. I have a big mouth and big lips. Those lip plumper thingys are NOT good times.

    So...what did you keep? Any new E.L.F. discoveries? Please share.

  12. I used one of those lip plumping products once.


    Cause let me tell you after that first time there was no going back! They could use that stuff on bullets and market it to our military as an additional form of torture or something.

    I actually read the ingredients on one such product and it had oil of cayenne in it. Well no wonder it burns like a SOB!

    I hope the other makeup items are more well received!

  13. What women put up with! Burning lips.

    I think this post is crying out for a photo of those hot lips!

  14. Oh hell no! If I want burning lips I'll just eat some buffalo least then I would enjoy the burn. LOL!

  15. I long for a bigger upper lip. When I smile it looks like I have nothing up there. be glad for big lips....


Give me some sugar, baby!