Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday Top Ten - Thoughts of a Ski Bum

After a couple week hiatus, I bring you the triumphant return of the Friday Top Ten! Growing up, we went skiing pretty much every year. Our usual destination was Colorado, since we lived in Kansas and it's just next door. Although it is still a 10 hour drive, which is really long when you're stuffed in the back seat of an extended cab pickup with your younger sister. Which we took because it was four wheel drive and my mom's corvette wouldn't fit all of us. Obviously. Listen to me complain about taking nice vacations. Also, our house was too big and I had too many friends. Boo hoo.

Anyhoo, we often met my mom's brother and his daughter who is four years younger than me. We three girls would generally head out on our own while the adults did their own thing. On one occasion, my cousin managed to get her jacket caught on the lift as she got off and was lifted into the air as it circled the top of the lift. She made it about 15 feet, mostly upright but screaming the whole way, before they stopped the lift, reversed and got her down. My sister and I stood there watching, mouths most likely hanging to our knees, until they got her back on terra firma and then we laughed, hysterically. To this day, it is one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed and I kick myself for not having had a camera with me. Unfortunately for the subject of today's Top Ten, plenty of people did have cameras.

My parents told me about this story shortly after they returned last week from their own luxury ski vacation at Vail, Colorado (not bitter and jealous, at all) and then my friend Dennis was kind enough to send me a link to the story. (You absolutely, positively have to click on the link.) It's a fellow who ran into a mighty unfortunate snag while loading an express ski lift at Vail. Here are just a few of the thoughts that probably ran through his mind as he dangled (in many senses) for FIFTEEN minutes waiting to be rescued.
  1. I think this is what you call BAD NAKED.
  2. I paid $100 a day for this lift ticket and it takes them 15 minutes to hit the reverse button?
  3. Don't judge, it's cold!
  4. You know when you say that felt like the longest 15 minutes of your life, well that was the longest 15 minutes of my life.
  5. Wish I hadn't just trimmed, I could use a little coverage right about now.
  6. My kid sat looking at the underside of my junk for 15 minutes. Yeah, that's not gonna affect him.
  7. Maybe I should have skipped that last Irish Coffee.
  8. Mark off one more place I'm never visiting again.
  9. This brings new meaning to "exposure."
  10. Man, my cheeks are RED.

This is especially apropos as we'll be off skiing in the wilds of western Maryland next weekend. Keep your fingers crossed that no one in our party runs into this sort of trouble!

Have a great weekend!!


  1. I saw that story! LOL. Great top 10 in relation to his story! ha ha ha. Brings a whole new meaning to 'Got any crack?' lol

  2. that's hilarious! are you headed to Deep Creek? my sister lives on the lake and they've had snow since...September?

  3. I keep thinking "Shrinkage!!"

  4. A friend e-mailed that to me... oh my GOSH can you imagine??

  5. Shrinkage. Indeed.

    I have never been skiing. But every year I rewatch one of the greatest movies ever, "Better Off Dead," and long to hit the slopes. "Do you realize the street value of this mountain???"

    We need to discuss a game plan for next Friday. You'll be skiing. I'll be watching. We must plan accordingly.

  6. I have some bad/funny ski stories about myself. 1) It was so cold out that my lips froze to my zipper. I could not remove my lips from my zipper...and I finally found a ski patrol and managed to get out to him "ethuse me, mywipsstuckazippa. I was 13, thought the ski patrol was cute, and was abosultely mortified.

    Another time, my brother and I were getting ready to catch the lift when I moved a little too slow and missed it...I should have just stepped aside and taken the next chair, but I decided to try and hang on. So there I was dangling in the air... They had to stop the lift and made me jump. Ugh. My brother wouldn't come near me the rest of the day out of embarrassment.

  7. Oh. My. Goodness.

    That poor man.

    Now with all these stories, I think I am totally nervous to ever try a ski lift!!

  8. OMG, that is hysterical!!!!!!

  9. "Also, our house was too big and I had too many friends. Boo hoo." Tee hee.

    Okay, going to watch the poor ski man now and revive all my own fears and anxieties about the sport.

  10. I am SO GLAD I clicked on the link before reading your top ten because it made me laugh so. much. harder.

    Oh my heavenly heavens!!! Is it cruel to say that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen???



Give me some sugar, baby!