Actually I don't think it gives me gas so much as just wakes it up. And it's not like you can let one go when you're surrounded by strangers. When Aparna and I went to Paris for my 30th birthday, a great trip worthy of more discussion on another day, we visited the Musee National du Moyen Age (Museum of the Middle Ages). If you're ever in Paris, I definitely recommend it, that and the catacombs. As we traversed the galleries, I noticed an older gentleman, probably a security guard, sitting in a chair in the arch between two rooms. Just as I passed him, no more than a few feet away, he lifted one cheek and let out the loudest fart I have heard outside of my home. Although it was probably accentuated by the acoustics of the room, it would have done my husband proud. He then settled his butt back down, did a little frenchy teeth suck, and went back to staring at nothing in particular. Aparna and I were DYING.
So I am terrified to try to sneak one out because what if it is not so quiet? I mean, maybe that crusty old french dude thought he was being discreet? Although, given the fact that he elevated his posterior to make for the most effective flatulence, I don't think so. The flip side, what if it IS silent, but deadly? The treadmills are pretty close together and I'm betting a real douzy could not be ignored by my excercising neighbors. I don't want to be forever known as the lady who farted, stinky or not. Holding it in is really the only option. You better believe the drive home is a fireworks extravaganza.
Am I alone in this? Is this an exercising phenomena or is it just me?
On a lighter note, Sophie loves going to the childcare section. She cries for about two seconds when I leave but then she's like, "Ooo, something shiny!" and runs off. It warms my heart. The absolute best part is when I come to pick her up and she is happily playing with the toys and other kids. I like to watch her for a minute, because, you know, she's just so darn cute, before I call out her name. When she sees me, her whole face lights up and she runs over to me, arms and legs flailing, a la Phoebe.
I love having that hour or so to myself, but coming back to her sweet, smiling face is just the best!
Friday, February 20, 2009
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this one really had me laughing. please get all of your farting out of your system before you come over tomorrow night :)
ReplyDeletesnort. You are allowed to fart around me. It's ok. I swear, I can NEVER get another job because I have been too used to just letting 'em rip for 10 years...
ReplyDeleteFrenchy teeth suck! Most appropriate after the butt liff. I haven't gone to the gym and taken the kids to the childcare section because last time I did it, first of all the screamed like crazy dropping them off and saw nothing shiny at all. Then when I picked them up, they had been put into a play castle thing higher than they should have been for their age, and they didn't know how to get down and were just standing there looking very worried. That was a while ago and they would probably be ok now, but now is sick season, and this joint isn't known for their cleanliness. If they get sick, then they miss school that we have already paid for. We'll go back in summer and try again. I'm so glad Sophie likes it. It's probably really good exercise for her, too.
ReplyDeleteSummer does GREAT at the childcare center while I work out. It is so good for both of us. She gets some independance, and I get some time alone. The best part is going to pick her up and seeing her before she sees me and watching how she is interacting with the other kids and how adorable she looks. ANd your right...then she LIGHTS up when she sees me and runs saying MAMA! Its great!
ReplyDeleteAnd NO! I never ever ever ever fart. Never.
First off, I LOVE the Friends episode with Phoebe running. LOL. Hysterical!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, I'd rather hold it in, and pass out cold in the gym, from NOT farting in public. Then again, I hear people tend to fart more in their sleep, so maybe that would be more embarrassing upon waking up. lol
You could always use equipment that is near someone using earphones. And let one rip real quiet like. lol
First off, I LOVE the Friends episode with Phoebe running. LOL. Hysterical!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, I'd rather hold it in, and pass out cold in the gym, from NOT farting in public. Then again, I hear people tend to fart more in their sleep, so maybe that would be more embarrassing upon waking up. lol
You could always use equipment that is near someone using earphones. And let one rip real quiet like. lol
Sorry, sticky fingers on the enter key. lol
ReplyDeleteOh I love a good fart post. Farting is just funny, no matter how you put it.
ReplyDeleteThat was hysterical. You know, if you did let one rip, you'd TOTALLY be known as the "lady who farted". Probably branded forever in that gym. Just like if you ever saw that Paris guy again... you'd never forget that he let that huge one rip. LOL.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can try some X-strength Gas-X next time before you get on the treadmill. :)
Since I was pregnant when I went to the gym, I was DEFINITELY gassy. I'd just let it slip as I walked from one machine to the next.
ReplyDeleteI don't take group exercise classes in part because I am not so coordinated, but also because I cannot concentrate on the routine and not farting at the same time!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Fireworks! And that clip of Phoebe is classic.
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteIt is not just you - the worst is the sit ups....the gas just kind of sneaks up on you, and your brain gets left out of the decision making process.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's because you're shaking things up in there. Probably a good thing.
The worst for me is that annual "female" exam. I get this uncontrollable sensation every time, and I swear every year that I'm going to blast one in my doc's face while she's "down there."
ReplyDeleteThank God it's never happened (yet!).
LOL at the French guy and keep up the good work w/ your exercising!!
ReplyDeleteI run like Phoebe. What of it???
ReplyDelete*Sophie rocks.