Sophie has not been a good shopping companion lately. So much so, that I have just about decided that I'll have to do my shopping on weekends and evenings when Neil can watch her. Which is crazy, but I just can't deal with her shenanigans. The screaming, crying and wriggling out of her stroller or the cart are just too much. I had a few things that I really wanted to get today, though, and emboldened by a successful nap, I figured we would give it a try. As usual, her behavior was the opposite of my expectations. She keeps me on my toes, that one. She was chatty and cute and didn't fight me at all getting in or out of her stroller.
So to reward her, and because it was an absolutely gorgy day, I took her to the park. I wasn't the only one with the idea, there were a ton of people there. As usual, Sophie made a beeline for the swings. My girl can not get enough of them. We HAVE to get something for our house. Anyhoodle, there was a twenty-something guy pushing his daughter on the other baby bucket swing. After a few minutes, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
Now, I'm a former smoker, and I feel pretty strongly about smokers' rights. They've been pushed out of just about everywhere. Of course, I recognize the health hazards, but what people do to their own bodies is their business in my book. I felt weird about this though. Yes, we were outdoors and the dangers of second hand smoke in this setting were probably less than the fumes from the exhaust of the vehicles on the road right next to the playground, but it felt wrong. I didn't say anything and I didn't run off, clutching my daughter to my bosom, because I don't want to be that person. I did keep an eye on him though, and if he had thrown that cigarette down on the ground, I would have given him a piece of my mind. (He didn't.) I felt like a hypocrite feeling so weird about it when for so many years that was probably me.
What would you have done?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
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I thought my girls were the only ones who put up a fight getting into the stroller. We pass all of these happy kids going for a walk and mine are going ballistic to get out. I am trying to explain to 18-month-olds that if you want to go to the park you have to stay in your stroller. I probably sound like a moron. The bean is adorable!
ReplyDeleteUnless he was blowing the smoke in my face, I would not have done anything or, at least, anything productive. I might passive-aggressively cough or baby talk to my kid about it (just kidding, I only communicate stuff I'm angry about through my children via baby talk to my husband). I probably wouldn't leave though since sometimes we've waited for our turn in the swing.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the Bean and shopping. I'm all about snacks throughout the store--special ones that we don't usually eat at home. I also bribe with treats at the end. Wow, maybe I should write a parenting book.
Outdoor smoking...sigh...there's not much that can be said about that. I'm a former smoker, too, as you know.
ReplyDeleteNow indoors...oh yes, I get obnoxious...and passive-aggressive with my pointed looks, faux coughing, etc.
Yeah, I'm a hypocrite, too.
I'd have left. Nonchalantly. I hate the smell. HATE! And seriously, on a playground? I, for one, am NOT terribly sympathetic to smokers. Not terribly sympathetic = not whatsoever tolerant. If you MUST smoke, smoke AWAY from every other nose on the planet. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAs a current smoker, I've got to say...I'M offended by people like this too. There's a point where common sense must kick in. Duh, stupid guy! lol
ReplyDeleteI don't smoke in the house, not in the car, not on the playground, (sounds like a Suess book, lol)
It's just rude!
I'm the same way-- as a former smoker, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the other commenter-- inside areas with smoking? Heck no. I can't handle it. My lungs feel like they'll seize up or something. kwim?
I get really annoyed about smoking people now...it didn't phase me at all years ago because it was the norm! But now, I just find it so gross because I am not used to having to smell it anymore!
ReplyDeleteOutdoors, I would probably just hang out as far away as possible (to avoid the smoke), but indoors, I get rather annoyed by it. Nothing makes me angrier than driving down the road and seeing children in a car with the windows up and a smoking adult. Arggghhhh.
ReplyDeleteI'm a former smoker myself. I never formed a daily habit, but after a few drinks.....I could finish a whole pack of B&H deluxe ultra lite methol by myself.....know what I'm sayin' dawg?
This is a timely post, because yesterday our governor signed into law a bill that'll ban smoking in restaurants and bars. Yeah, I know, we're behind the times. I lean libertarian on a lot of issues, so I'd usually be the one to say "the owner has the right...blah, blah, blah," but I'm glad in this case that they're doing it, because of the secondhand smoke, and many people don't really get to choose where they work.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother, so I don't know what I'd do. Smoking doesn't bother ME (I actually like the smell, though I've never smoked), but I don't know that I'd want my kid around it.
That guy would have been run outta town on a rail had it been at our park. I'm a former smoker and don't really care about where people smoke, but I think the gasps from the moms would have come in the form of it's just not appropriate to do around children in a children's area. I would have probably moved to do something else, slide or whatever. I smoked for years, but I wouldn't have done it around kids. From the perspective of smoker, I didn't want kids, mine or anyone elses, to think it's a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI use to smoke to, so I am sitting next to you on the fence on this one. I feel about the same as you. I try really hard to respect what people choose to do to themselves.
ReplyDeleteWe live in Ohio where the law is you cannont smoke in ANY building. Restraunt or anything. It is extreme. I do like it and yes love going out to eat and not having smokers by my kids is great, so when we are outside I try to give them that...but a playground...IDK!
I certainly do appreciate (from experience) your frustrations in dealing with Sophie's shenanigans; she certainly is a live wire. Hang in there though, I guarantee that one day you'll think back to these days and a wistful tear will come visiting. You're lucky to have this time with her.
ReplyDeleteI'm a former smoker myself, but I'd bet when I had a little girl Sophie's age (and I'm old enough to be her granddad now), more than once I lit a cigarette while I was pushing her on a swing or driving her around in the car and thought nothing of it. All political correctness aside, I think the worst thing about subjecting kids to secondhand smoke is that it probably increases their likelihood of smoking themselves later in life. I've never been convinced that secondhand smoke actually hurts anybody. It does stink, though, I'll give you that. And there's absolutely no doubt that it CAN hurt the person that does the smoking. Good for you for quitting; maybe Sophie will never take up the habit. Cheers.
that is a tough one. I understand where you are coming from but b/c there are kids around I would have asked him to stop.
ReplyDeleteAs a cuurent smoker I would be pissed that some guy was smoking at the swings!! I never smoke around kids. I will go to the other side of the park away from people if I need one. If there is no out of the way place or no one to watch the kidlet, I wait until I am someplace more appropriate. There is a time and place for everything and a playground is NOT the place to smoke. end of story.
ReplyDeleteIf the smoke were blowing in my direction, I'd probably have gone to another part of the park because I just can't take smoke. I had enough of it as a kid with my mother, who smoked indoors and in the car with the windows closed (and through pregnancy). I hate BBQ and campfire smoke, too, so it's not just cigarettes.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should feel like a hypocrite, though, because you have changed. You're not preaching against one thing while doing that very thing at the same time. :)
PS I dread shopping with my son. It often ends up badly. Today, it ended with him pulling me down on the floor in a tantrumy fit to get away from me because he didn't want to leave the store. How do you get security cameras to erase footage?
ReplyDeleteI think I would have felt the same way but your also right your out side and not in an closed sapce... what to do and like you said if he threw it on the ground I would have said something... any kid could pick it up and chew on it they eat the gravel for goodness sake!
ReplyDeleteumm I think it's poor judgement on his part let just hope he smokes only out side and not in the close car with the windows up and the child in the back seat!
I have never been a smoker. I was one of the VERY thankful ones when our no-smoking ordinance passed for bars & restaurants. But outdoors...that is a hard one ONLY because it was at a PLAYGROUND!!!
ReplyDeleteWell I am "that" person. I detest smoking and I can't stand to be around it. My dad smoked for years and I finally begged him to stop.
ReplyDeleteI probably would have asked the guy point-blank to either put it out or leave and if he gave me a hard time I probably would have stormed away.
One of my kids has asthma and I'm pretty adamant about my kids not being around smoke!
that is a tough one - you really can't say anything b/c it is a public park without the law to back you up. I'm a former smoker too - and I detest smoking these days!
ReplyDelete