Thursday, October 22, 2009

The One Where I Rant

I should be working on party stuff right now, or cleaning, or figuring out what I need to buy at the grocery store tomorrow but my brain is just fried.

My big project for this afternoon was to make the sugar cookies so I could then fancily ice and decorate them. I have never made rolled cookies before. (According to Neil, recipe that I made tastes doughy and not sugary. Since these are SUGAR cookies, that seems like a major fault. Am quite certain I used correct measurements according to recipe, so what. the. hell?) Nor have I ever fancily iced anything. That's not so hard, right? Wrong. Add in that my oven hates me. It takes twice as long to cook everything and then it goes from raw to holy frijoles burnt in about 14 seconds. Plus, my cookie sheets are crap. Note to self: add to list of things to buy tomorrow.

I had planned to bake when Sophie napped, but thanks to a bout of insomnia last night, I really needed to nap when she did. Which meant I had to find ways to keep her out of my hair while I baked. I made my first attempt at homemade playdoh, figuring this would be a nice way to keep her occupied. It wasn't. But the piles of stuff on the dining table, aka Party Prep Command Central, were quite entertaining. Much to my chagrin. Which is how she wound up with the hat I am contemplating wearing for the party. It was good for a smile, at least, distracting me from the mess she had made of the gift bags.

We're kind of, sort of, not really, maybe, a little, working on potty training right now. Our half-assed effort has mainly consisted of putting her on her little potty each night before bath/bed. Twice in the past week, she has peed! Tonight, after washing up, we stripped her down and she ran over to her potty and sat there looking at us with big, round, imabouttodosumpin eyes. And she peed. While Neil and I watched, listened and then clap, clap, clapped and cheered. What an existence that pissing is worthy of applause. Really, though, it made me crazy happy.

Oh yeah, and if anyone has any pull with Mother Nature, can you see about bringing some good weather to the Baltimore area on Saturday? I would really, REALLY like to let the kids play outside during Sophie's birthday party and right now they're calling for thunderstorms. Which obviously is not the best weather for a bunch of toddlers to run around in, especially fully costumed toddlers.

90% chance of rain on Saturday. Not good. Can't we just move Sunday's weather up a day?

There's a boatload more running around in my head, but I'm trying not to be too much of a downer going into the weekend, because who wants a downer on Friday. Not me. Which is why it always seemed wrong to fire people on Friday. Do it on Monday, they're not coming in the next day anyway, and then at least they have a nice weekend under their belt before having their ass handed to them. Also the same reason that I always say when I'm going on a trip that if the plane crashes, please just let it be on the way home, so I got to have my vacation first. How's that for seeing the positive?

So, to sum up:
1: Screwed up oven
3: Successful pees in the potty
4: Hours cooking
5: Curse words in this post (1 Hell, 3 Asses and 1 Piss)
48: Probably unusable cookies
90: Percent likelihood Mother Nature will totally screw me

Have a great weekend!


  1. Things often seem to go wrong when you're trying to do something really important like make homemade sugar cookies from scratch. Doesn't the world know? You've got a masterpiece to work on here.

    I tried my hand at coating sugar cookies with the hard icing for my son's birthday last month, and I ended up using a paintbrush. I guess my icing wasn't liquid-y enough to pour/squeeze the icing and let it spread or "flood." I'm sure yours will turn out much better!

  2. Are you keeping the dough in the fridge before using and between the time you have to take the sheet out of the oven? That's weird.

    Have you tried a package of pillsbury slice dough? lol

  3. I refuse to make roll cookies, because they NEVER turn out like I envision. And then I'm just pissed.

    As for this post, even though it was a rant and had some curse words and your cookies were a bomb; I still loved this post. Esp. the summary at the end.

    Relax, go buy some Pillsbury dough sheets and some white icing and sprinkles and call it a day. HAVE FUN at your party and stop worrying about all the things out of your control!

  4. Oh this one was good Cara! ROFLMAO!
    Girl go get the Pillsbury in a roll next time, we use it for all our sugar cookies. And then canned icing tints really well!
    We have a musical potty around here.....that plays in the middle of the night! Whatever it takes!

  5. Wow, you are way ahead of us!
    Last night, Alli-Bean sat on her potty chair looking at us with big, round, imabouttodosumpin eyes and and then.......she looked at us some more and then...........then she got tired of sitting there with no pants on and both of us looking at her with areyouabouttodosumpin eyes. She jumped up and ran accross the living room and through the kitchen and as I watched her little round bottom bounce off in the distance I thought....."she is priceless!"

  6. Wishing you good weather and good luck with the cookies. I totally know what you mean about the stove. Consisting temperature is a must-have when baking. I finally gave in this year and used part of our tax refund to get me a new one. Not that I've made much time for baking, but when I do, it makes all the difference.

  7. just saw your blog and emailed you the worlds best cookie & icing recipe... check your regular email... hope it helps

    love - melanie

  8. I'd love to see a photo of the finished cookies. I am sure they came out great. And the party sounds like it will be great fun. Toddlers and costumes, but not too many toddlers right? I have yet to have a big party for my son. Next year when he is three I will have 6 kids - max.

  9. Weird, but I tried to make Snoopy sugar cookies for CRW's 1st B-day. I was inspired by Snoopy Cookie cutters that Ryan's mom gave me, and since it was a Snoopy party, I thought what the heck? Well they didn't turn out (the cookie cutter's fault). It just wasted valuable time I didn't have.

    And I would love to talk potty with you (training that is) as its my fav topic this week. In short, I think you are doing exactly the right approach with Sophie. Keep her happy, keep her peeing, and TAKE YOUR TIME! We had a rough week in the potty dept, but thats another posting... at least we made some progress. See ya tomorrow!

  10. Don't worry it is going to be great! And not having to buy diapers someday soon in your future is worth a clap for sure! Thanks for catching me on twitter!

  11. I'm sorry. I really hope everything works out nonetheless. We had the same issue this year with my daughter's 4th birthday. We planned to barbecue, play outdoor games and even bought a pinata.

    It rained

    Hoping the rain blows somewhere else on Saturday!

  12. Ok here's my little bit for you.

    Sugar cookie dough is NOT sweet. The whole reason being you're either going to put Sugar or frosting ON the cookie, and if it was a sweet cookie, it would just be TOO sweet. So... you've probably done it exactly right.

    Now - in the baking part, I always cook the on the top rack for half the suggested time, then put them on the bottom rack for the other half. And make sure your cookie sheets are just those nice thin flat ones - NOT air bakes.. I think airbakes SUCK.

    Ok... that's what I've got....

    You rock sweetie!!!

  13. Oh honey, I am so sorry you had such a rough day! I did not sleep well last night, so today I am half asleep myself. I just could not fall asleep. Ugh! But it's Saturday and looking like the rain is moving out at least in Atlanta, so I'm happy about that!

    On the cookies, definitely get a couple of heavy-duty rolled-rim sheet pans (these are usually made of stainless steel). Then anytime I make cookies, I line my cookie sheets with parchment paper (buy at grocery store in aluminum foil section). This makes getting them off the pan a HUGELY easier task and almost (note: almost) guarantees they won't burn on the bottom, anyway.

    If your oven is flaky, try putting a thermometer inside it, so you can see what's really going on. And rotate your pans halfway through.

    Hope that helps!

  14. PS Just saw Lizzy's comment and I agree that the Airbake things suck. They warp easily (meaning half your cookies may be baking with a lot more hot air circulating under the pan than the second half) and they always burn my cookies. Inexplicable, really, considering their whole intended purpose is to prevent that. I no longer use mine for cookies.

    Hope the party is great!

  15. This is why you will never ever have iced sugar cookies (at least from me) again at the Annual Cookie Exchange Party. Though, put a few dabs of icing on those things, and they will be sweet enough.

  16. The best part of homemade sugar cookies is the less sugar taste with that taste of salt. That is where the sweet sweet icing comes in! They are my FAVORITE cookie and my mom makes them for me every Christmas. Yes alone they are kindof gross. A little bland and salty (although I like them). That is the recipe:) You are doing it right girl. The icing makes it even out and the blend makes it perfection!!

    It is Saturday as I type this, so by now the festivities are probably over....I sure hope it all went well!!

    Happy Birthday Sophie!!!

    And peeing in the potty makes a Mama SO PROUD!!!

  17. I hope the rain stayed away today and that the party was GREAT!

    And you are not alone in ovens madness. Mine is relatively brand new and never ceases to amaze me in its ability to go from raw to charred in about 10 seconds. Grrrr. But, I will say that Angela is definitely right about using the rolled cookie sheets. They're heavier and cook SO MUCH BETTER. I was stunned at how great some cookies I had to make for Big A's school turned out a few weeks back when I used my new cookie sheets.

  18. Boo on the rain. It has been raining here WAY too much:(

  19. Our Saturday ended up beautiful; I hope your did too!

    I hate when I spend a bunch of time making something that doesn't turn out "quite right". It's so frustrating.

    Yay for pees in the potty!

  20. BUT...
    the party ended up being fabulous and you were able to relax by talking to me later on that night. All night.

    We rule.

    Happy belated birthday, Sophie!


Give me some sugar, baby!