Blogher Returns

I'm back from my long weekend in New York City for Blogher '10.

I'm still coming down from the high of spending time with some of my favorite people, ladies who the other 362 days of the year I only see on this little screen. For my part, there was no drama. No awkward interactions, no skirmishes, no embarrassing flubs. I didn't go overboard with the swag, nor did I hear of there being any swag hag issues. There were tons of private parties, and I went to a few, including a lovely luncheon in a chi-chi restaurant where I dropped a cheese biscuit down my shirt and my girls from LoveFeast Table pretended not to notice.

But it was the non-conference related moments that stand out: laying in bed talking with my blog wife Nap Warden. Dancing with my roomies: Elena and Shannon. Sucking down $5 happy hour martinis with the other three members of the Fourfecta: Nap Warden, Angry Julie and Scary Mommy. Walking through Central Park with Burghbaby and Nap Warden. Dragging Babe in Babeland to an out of the way bar to see an old friend WAY past our bedtime.

It was not the sessions, of which I attended ONE, or the huge organized parties, that were so loud and crowded it was impossible to hear someone standing even three feet away, that made Blogher '10 a success for me.

It was this and this and this:

(Abbey Road shot bottom left courtesy of the fabulous Burghbaby. That's me in the middle and Nap Warden behind me, pretending she doesn't know me.)

Blogging for me is only partly about writing. The biggest part is the connections. And bringing those connections off of the screen and into the "real" world is what makes it all worthwhile. It is this that brings us all to Blogher and it is this that keeps us coming back.

Because My Brain Just Can't Come Up With More

- I haven't talked about it, but I am going to Blogher '10 in New York City next week. I was excited, and then I was kind of blah, and now I'm excited again. And starting to stress out about the usual girl things: what to wear, how many pairs of shoes will fit in my suitcase, can I lose 20 pounds in the next 9 days. I have my roommates lined up at the Hilton and I am ready to get my groove on. If you're going, let me know, let's exchange numbers and promise to meet up.

- We pulled up the carpet from the second floor. I had pulled up some corners and I was optimistic that the hard wood floors underneath would be in decent shape. I am happy to report that they are gorgeous! There are a couple of spots but nothing that gives me any anxiety. Yay for quality craftsmanship in older houses!

- Hallelujah for the premium channel TV shows coming back to kill the summer TV drought. Closer, Mad Men, Being Human, My Boys: you're saving me from eating my foot out of boredom.

- And speaking of feet. I went to the doctor and they did some x-rays. It's a heel spur. Yay. It's painful and has pretty much put a stop to my running career. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually disappointed. I didn't like running, but it has a meditative quality that I enjoyed. I'm still working out, but no running.

- Our house has three temperature zones: arctic, temperate and tropical. In our bedrooms on the second floor, we're stripped down to skivvies, laying under the ceiling fan arguing about which direction its supposed to turn. In the basement TV/family room, we're bundled up in fluffy socks underneath my leopard print Snuggie. We've had the repair men out to make sure our AC works right. It does. And we've tried every combination of closed/open vents. Always the same result. It's maddening.

- Did I mention I'm going to Blogher? Yeah. Three days. No cooking. No housework. No "mommy, mommy, mooommmmeeeee!" Ahhh.

A Common Plight?

It seems to be a common condition. Particularly for stay at home moms. We have dedicated our lives to our children. Which isn't to say that we don't have outside interests, but they almost all take a distant second to our children.

Guilt.

Moms feel guilty when they do anything that takes them away from the job of raising their children.

But not me. I don't feel guilty when I leave my daughter. Not for a couple of hours with her father or a trusted family member. And not for a long weekend away.

My time away from my daughter is regenerative for me. I NEED those hours and sometimes days to rediscover my love for being a stay at home mom. Do I miss her? Absolutely. But guilt? No way.

There is no other profession that doesn't allow for vacation days*. And I see myself as a professional mommy. I don't just want that time for myself, I DESERVE it. There is no expectation of a full three week vacation each year. I'm not even expecting a whole week, but I do expect some time for myself.

With Blogher '10 rapidly approaching, I'm preparing to spend a long weekend in New York City. Time with friends and fellow bloggers. Time when I can focus pretty much exclusively on MY wants. I can't tell you how excited I am for those days on my own. It doesn't mean I don't love my life and my family. It doesn't mean I'm a bad mom. It means that I love ME too.

What about you? Do you feel guilty leaving your child(ren)?


*Yes, I know there are plenty of jobs that don't offer paid vacation, but they at least allow for unpaid time off.

What Would Life Be Without A Little Controversy?

I had pretty much resigned myself to not writing another post about Blogher. I went and I'm actually starting to get Blogher burnout*. But a topic keeps coming up and I find I can't resist putting in my two cents.

Swag.

I have now read several posts and countless tweets about all of the nasty behavior surrounding the procurement of swag and frankly, y'all, I'm tired of it. I never once saw someone push someone to get at the swag. Never once did I hear someone say they were only there for the swag. Never once did I see someone be rude to one of the vendors or people handing out swag at parties.

Am I unobservant? I don't think so. I was at a number of the parties, attended all sessions and visited the expo hall. Did I see people crowded around swag tables? Yes. But from everything I could see, it was a generally well-mannered group of women. Perhaps the reason I didn't see any of this stuff is because I myself did not run to the swag tables. Or because I didn't surround myself with people who were "only there for the swag."

I suspect that these stories, like so many, are more urban myth than fact. A victim of the telephone game wherein a story (maybe even a true one) takes on mythic proportions by its hundredth retelling. I heard from soandso that her friend saw someone run over a litter of kittens and then use their dead carcasses as projectiles to get other attendees away from the table, just to get a kiwi spoon. Do I think that there were a few bad apples among us? Of course. It would be unreasonable to think otherwise in a group as large as that, but if you take nothing else away from my post, take this: that behavior in NO WAY defines my experience in Chicago.

Here is what I did see at Blogher:
- Women (and a few men) squealing and hugging.
- Excited conversations as friendships were made or renewed.
- The clinking of glasses. (Maybe too much.)
- Ogling the big bloggers, wishing you had the nerve to go up and talk to them, not because you were afraid they would be mean but because you were afraid you wouldn't be able to form a coherent sentence.
- Actually going up and talking to your blog idols. Knees knocking and hands shaking and finding that they were as kind and friendly in person as they were on the computer screen.
- Many, many, many photos taken.
- So much laughter. It was a cacophony and it was glorious.

Was Blogher perfect? No way. I have my complaints and they are substantive. Will I be back? I don't know. But believe me when I tell you, that decision has NOTHING to do with the swag.

*Unless, of course, you write complimentary posts or post flattering pictures of me. In which case, keep 'em coming!

Dear Blogher Organizers,

First, I would like to thank you for putting together an enjoyable experience. The sessions were interesting (if a tad overcrowded), the parties were fab (although can we talk about the $9 drinks?) and don’t even get me started on the swag. Let’s just say my suitcase weighed 20 pounds on the way out and 50 on the way back.

But I have one issue that I would like to address. Something that was near criminal in the level of irresponsible planning required. What I’m referring to, of course, is the amount of beans you foisted on us during luncheons and cocktail parties. While I am an ardent bean lover, in fact, have a hard time resisting the little beauties, they are not such lovers of my digestive system.

When meeting hundreds of new people for the first time, concentrating on clenching your cheeks for fear of an errant SBD, or worse, a full-on butt trumpet, is seriously prohibitive in the creation of a comfortable dialogue. Sadly, ever since my daughter came barreling down the birth canal (my husband actually said, “Holy cats, nice catch Doc!”), this sort of control is not what it used to be, Kegels and an excellent obstetric surgeon aside.

Additionally, the magical fruit, as it is often called, has a savage impact on my otherwise regular constitution. The less said about this aspect the better, but suffice it to say that my normally pampered posterior was subjected to many, MANY visits to hotel and restaurant bathrooms and the rough toilet paper they provide. Is it really so much to ask for some two-ply?

In conclusion, I would like to kindly request that for future conferences, you consider the impact of the food choices you offer. Might I even recommend offering a little cheese? Thank you for your attention to this important matter.

Sincerely,
CaraBee

Greetings from the Windy City!

I made it in yesterday with little fanfare. The flight was okay. We hit a bunch of turbulence the last half hour or so and I spent the entire time breathing deeply, swallowing spit and trying to locate a barf bag, just in case. The good news is that I did not throw up, the plane landed just fine and I emerged to meet MEP, who had graciously come to pick me up.

Once E... arrived (she had driven in from City C), we went downtown and checked in for the conference. With our conference badges in hand, we decided to grab a quick bite before the parties. After a bit of wandering around downtown Chicago, we settled on PJ Clarke's, where we dined al fresco and watched people. I saw four much older men wearing brightly colored tie dyed shirts, individually, not together, and one wearing a pink sequined jacket, not to mention what I'm pretty sure was the Village People. And that was a Thursday night. Imagine what I could have seen on a weekend!
















Then we headed back to the hotel for the parties. The parties. I was crazy nervous about the parties. I was afraid that I would be the ultimate wallflower. Even without a slew of drinks in me, it turns out I'm not so much.

A few notes:

- I saw Black Hockey Jesus and Stephanie Wilder-Taylor in conversation and somehow managed to walk my knocking knees over to them to say hello. Honest to blog, I was completely flushed and shaking while I was talking to them. Like a complete boob. They were very kind though and did not give me the cold shoulder even though they are blog elite and I am, you know, not. Stephanie even gave me a hug. Did I mention I love her?

- Jen Lancaster was at the second party we went to. I saw her standing alone at the bar and I pounced. I gushed out in one long breath that I loved her blog and her books and how all around wonderful I thought she was. I was about to run off but she engaged me in conversation. Of course, then she pretty much walked off in the middle of said conversation, so I felt a little weird about it. But still. Squee! Jen Lancaster!

- It turns out I am mostly deaf. I could only hear about every fifth word in any conversation because of the enormous noise from the din of a 1000 people all talking at once. It's tough to be witty when you're having completely different conversations.

- Every time I see one of the "big" bloggers, I am surprised when they are normal sized. It's like I'm expecting them to be super tall just because they are well known in the blog world. Turns out they're just people. Who knew.

- I actually saw a ton of blog friends. There were lots of hugs. I felt the love.

Anxiety, Part 67

We are at t-minus one day until my departure for Chicage for that thing that everyone is sick to death of reading about. Unless you're going, in which case you gobble up every word you can find about it. Especially if you're a first timer like me. Because you don't know exactly what to expect and you're nervous and afraid that no one will know you or want to know you. That everyone will be so caught up in Bloggess sightings that they'll be like, "Cara who? You write a blog about vegetables*? Greeeaat. Oh, you're a mommy blogger. How original." If it weren't for a couple of fabulous ladies, I would probably be approaching hyperventilating anxiety at this point.

When I was in high school, my sister told me that people thought I was a priss. Which is so not me. I mean, sure, I'm a tad uptight about sex and I'm kind of puritanical when it comes to my clothing and yes, I'm a conservative. (gasp!) But I'm totally not a priss. What's that? Textbook definition of priss, you say? Bah. I think it had more to do with the fact that when I'm not smiling, my face falls into a sort of puckery look. So to my blog friends who are going, please don't let my lemonface turn you away, I really am quite friendly.

(See how friendly this face is! It's not really, is it? Damn it.)















Anyhoo, I'll probably be scarce for the next couple of days, although I'll try to check in from time to time.

I would also like to take a moment to thank my sponsor, Dad, for making this trip possible. And Johnson and Johnson, for the amazing prize! (Although I haven't seen the money yet, so it is possible that I just went out and stimulated** the economy to the tune of $400 in clothes and such and I will never see a penny of it back.)

See you on the other side of Chicago.

*You know, because of the name. Bean. Get it?

**Ha ha, I said stimulated.

An End To The Suspense

Some time ago, I entered a contest through Blogher sponsored by Johnson & Johnson. Called Pay The Way To Blogher '09, twenty lucky attendees would be given $1200 dollars that could be used to pay for Blogher conference expenses.

I entered the contest, thinking as I always do that I would not win, but I figured what the hell. I certainly don't have anything to lose and with 20 prizes, the odds were miles better than my chances of winning the lottery.

As it turns out, fate was smiling on me because I WON $1200!

While Neil keeps telling me that I shouldn't spend anything until the check is in my hot little hands (which he thinks will come in the form of a giant check at a lavish ceremony at Blogher a la Publisher's Clearing House) I was unable to control myself and bought four outfits and three pairs of shoes, using up 25% of the money before I even have it. Let it not be said that I wasn't true to the spirit of my mad money.

Chicago here I come!!

Sometimes Doing Chores Isn't So Bad

I'm going to a Blogher pre-party tonight. As expected, I'm a bundle of nerves. I've tried on twelve different outfits. I feel like I'm going on a blind date. With someone who cares what shoes I'm wearing. I'm always so jittery about these sorts of networking events. It was tough when I was doing it for a company and even more so when I'm doing it for me.

I just have to remember that everyone is nervous, and if they're not, they're psychotic.

A Little Mystery

So I got an email last night that had some really amazing news, but ever the skeptic, I doubted.













And then I was like, ein minuten bitte, could this be real?













And then I got confirmation, and I was like ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod!weeeeeeeeeeeee!













And just as soon as I am 100%, no questions, for sure for sure, I will tell you all what it is.

What? Waiting never killed anyone. Or at least that's what my mom always said. I'm pretty sure it has taken down someone, somewhere, though, so I won't keep you in suspense for too long.

*No, I am NOT pregnant.

**No spilling the beans, MEP!

Blowing into the Windy City

I think I have mentioned before that I am hoping to go to Blogher* '09 in Chicago. I wanted to go last year, but there was just no way I could have gone to San Francisco. I hadn't been blogging long, I had an 8 month old that couldn't be left and couldn't be taken, and we were still adjusting to life with one income. All this added up to conference envy. This year is different. I'm something of a veteran at the old blogging business, with a year under my belt. I've come to know so many great people through their blogs, and I just can't miss this opportunity to meet them for real. It's not a sure thing yet and is dependent on a couple of factors, finances being chief among them, but I'm working to make it happen. So, if you're looking for a birthday gift for me (February 24, I'll be 30+5), Blogher tickets would be just the thing. And if you're thinking, "hey, someone probably already got her those tickets." Well, then, airline tickets are also perfect! Just kidding.**

I got onto Blogher and looked into registration, which was not on there yet the last time I looked. I was mostly just curious to see how much tickets for the event would be. I was not surprised to see that a full ticket for all events was $199. You can also buy one day tickets ($99) and tickets for only the cocktail parties ($50). What I wanted to spread the news about was how much you can save by buying tickets before February 28th. It's a pretty significant amount. After 2/28, the price goes up to $298 for a full ticket and $149 for the single day passes. I hope to get tickets before that date because who couldn't stand to save some moolah?

So my question is: who else is planning/hoping/dreaming about going? And for my gals that have been before, is the full pass worth it or is it better to buy a one day pass and the cocktail party pass?

* Blogher is an organization whose goal is to "create opportunities for women who blog to pursue exposure, education, community and economic empowerment."

** Not kidding.