All I've Got Is A Photograph

 

Sorry for the long absences, friends and fellow denizens of the internet. Turns out kids take up a lot of time. Who knew? Sure as hell not me. If you'd asked me before Sophie, and I'm basing this on the behavior of the soap opera watching baby sitters of my early youth, taking care of kids was a piece of cake. The reality is, this stuff is work. A lot of it may be fun work, but make no mistake, it puts a real damper on a person's laying around, bonbon eating time. So fun stuff, like writing blog posts, talking on the phone (I used to talk on the phone?), and most other forms of normal human interaction have been abandoned.
 
I have a metric ton of stories of the goings on around here lately. Visits to the nature center. Camping on the surface of the sun, also known as Virginia in May. Touring amazing natural wonders. We've spent a little time in the Emergency Room. Not to worry, we're all fine. At some point, I will post about that. There's blood and drama, the very hallmarks of a fine blog post, if I do say so myself. My weight loss journey continues, successfully, but I won't really talk much about that now because, SNORE, aren't you all tired of hearing me go on about it? I'm tired of talking about it and I love talking about me. Obviously.

So anyhoo, this was just a quick HI! to let you know that we're all still alive. And that hopefully I can get my diminishing posterior in gear at some point and write some posts, because I miss this. And all of you.

*In case some of you were fooled by my masterful Photoshop skills, that is not an *official* Def Leppard Size 3T concert tank top. I KNOW. It's uncanny. I am an artiste.

Now

I have found that, like so many things, my interest in blogging waxes and wanes. In nearly three years I have published more than 500 posts. Every time I approached one of the century marks, I have thought I should make a fuss about it, but each time I forget until it's too late. I look and realize that I'm at 407. And really, who cares how many posts I've put up. Does it make me a more accomplished writer or blogger for the number of times I have managed to hit the publish button? Do the 100 or so people who visit here each day, most of whom are likely family, even care? Having said that, my relative absence from blogging lately has left me feeling stranded. Missing out on my friends lives and missing out on writing, something I truly enjoy doing. I want, no I need, to get back in to it.

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I am restarting Operation Smaller Ass. I lost 20 pounds earlier this year and then proceeded to gain most of it back over the following 8 months and that's total bullshit. I work out like a fiend, I NEED something to show for it. I've considered all of the easy routes: pills, hypnotism, chaining the fridge; and have decided to just get back with counting calories. I had success with it before, and early results are good. Five pounds in the last week. How many times do I say "this time I'm serious" before I really do GET SERIOUS?

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I'm considering doing NaNoWriMo. I have a story. And a pretty good one, if I do say so myself. I've been fleshing it out in my head for a while now, so it's just a matter of buckling down and bringing it to life. Will having a month deadline make it happen? I don't know, but it can't hurt trying. Neil's always asking me when I'm going to write my novel. Maybe now is the time.

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Maybe now is the time for a lot of things.

It's Tuesday. And That Means Absolutely Nothing

- Sophie's 3rd birthday is just two days away. Can't even process that I have a THREE YEAR OLD. And NO, we're not having another kid.

- I ran another 5K a couple of weeks ago and now I have the bug. I want to do another. And another. Who is this person that has taken over my body and what has she done with the real Cara?

- We broke down and hired a biweekly cleaning service. All is right in the world again. There is really nothing better than coming home to a yummy clean house. Of course, the clean only lasts for 42 seconds, but those are 42 heavenly seconds.

- We got rid of the last of our tube TVs a couple of weeks ago. We tried to donate it to the local Goodwill but they wouldn't take it. A perfectly good 32 inch TV. We wound up taking it to the dump. I can't get over that.

- I have enough red clothes to do an entire load of them when I do laundry. I really need to diversify my wardrobe. I don't want to be known as the "lady in red", although I would love to have a song like that written about me. Sigh.

- I got hit on by a 90 year old white bearded fellow in the waiting room of my dermatologist yesterday. It was funny and flattering and creepy all at the same time. I think his 70 year old daughter, who was pushing his wheelchair, was embarrassed.

Because My Brain Just Can't Come Up With More

- I haven't talked about it, but I am going to Blogher '10 in New York City next week. I was excited, and then I was kind of blah, and now I'm excited again. And starting to stress out about the usual girl things: what to wear, how many pairs of shoes will fit in my suitcase, can I lose 20 pounds in the next 9 days. I have my roommates lined up at the Hilton and I am ready to get my groove on. If you're going, let me know, let's exchange numbers and promise to meet up.

- We pulled up the carpet from the second floor. I had pulled up some corners and I was optimistic that the hard wood floors underneath would be in decent shape. I am happy to report that they are gorgeous! There are a couple of spots but nothing that gives me any anxiety. Yay for quality craftsmanship in older houses!

- Hallelujah for the premium channel TV shows coming back to kill the summer TV drought. Closer, Mad Men, Being Human, My Boys: you're saving me from eating my foot out of boredom.

- And speaking of feet. I went to the doctor and they did some x-rays. It's a heel spur. Yay. It's painful and has pretty much put a stop to my running career. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually disappointed. I didn't like running, but it has a meditative quality that I enjoyed. I'm still working out, but no running.

- Our house has three temperature zones: arctic, temperate and tropical. In our bedrooms on the second floor, we're stripped down to skivvies, laying under the ceiling fan arguing about which direction its supposed to turn. In the basement TV/family room, we're bundled up in fluffy socks underneath my leopard print Snuggie. We've had the repair men out to make sure our AC works right. It does. And we've tried every combination of closed/open vents. Always the same result. It's maddening.

- Did I mention I'm going to Blogher? Yeah. Three days. No cooking. No housework. No "mommy, mommy, mooommmmeeeee!" Ahhh.

Bubbles

Friday Fluff

I don't know how all of you parents do it. I honestly expected that as Sophie got older, she would be more self-sufficient and I would be able to do more of my stuff during the day. Not that I expected to just throw her out in the back yard or wherever and be able to watch my stories while I nibbled on bonbons all day. But I did think it would get easier. Once again, I was monumentally wrong. I should stop making assumptions about how I think things are going to be, because so far I'm batting ZERO. They really should have been more clear in the manual.

The reason for that little diatribe is to explain why I can't even seem to produce a whole post lately or get around for much blog visiting. Ironically, there's plenty to talk about (vacation planning, tumbling, sleep problems, my sore neck, pedicures, house projects, etc), just not much time to do it. And what little interweb time I do have, I manage to fill up with other stuff. Like putting the tabs at the top of my header. Which has taken me an insanely long time to do (I can't seem to get the lines to touch the header image, argh) and really doesn't accomplish much, but it does get me one step closer to having that crucial "About" page that everyone raves about. Of course, that would mean I would have to write an About page. Details, details.

So bear with me while we work our way through this stage. Me and my html OCD and Sophie in her "I need every single last scrap of mommy's attention". We'll get through this. I'm predicting that Sophie will be a calm, cool, self-entertaining kid in no time flat.

Chance

After a shopping excursion to the mall the other day, we decided to stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some stuff to make dinner. Because it was unexpected, I didn't have the list from the pad on the refrigerator where I write things down as we run out of them. I knew there were only four things on there, though, so I felt reasonably confident that I would remember them all. I recited the list to myself as I ran in alone, leaving Neil and Sophie in the car.

I wandered through the store, picking up the ingredients I needed to make dinner, grabbing those things from the list as I went. As I picked up the last thing I needed for dinner, I realized that I had only found three of the four things from my list. Try as I might, though, I couldn't remember what that last item was. I walked slowly down one of the aisles, waiting for my memory to return. Approaching the registers, I resigned myself to not getting the last mystery item.

But then, on the middle shelf, in front of the ziploc bags, sat a lone bottle of olive oil. Out of place, on an aisle I had wandered down completely by chance, sat the last thing I needed.

Was it luck? A simple twist of fate. Am I reading too much into it? I'm not a religious person, so I balk at ascribing supernatural symbolism, but this is just one in a long line of these sorts of occurrences for me. I can't help but think they're not ALL just crazy coincidences.

Maybe I have a fairy godmother.

If she's listening, I wouldn't mind being directed to a winning lottery ticket, thankyouverymuch!

**We have a great giveaway going on over at BlogTrotting! Have you entered to win yet?**

Dot Com

It only took me two plus years, but I FINALLY bought www.landofbean.com! I feel sortof official now. Not that it changes a darn thing. But it means that I need to get new cards. Which I needed to do anyway, because they were not representative of my blog and the information on them was not exactly as I would present them now. Definitely before Blogher '10.

Anyway, I've got a post to put together detailing what a fantastic time Bloggy Boot Camp was. And I'll do that just as soon as I stop crying because in the transfer to .com, I lost ALL of the comments on every post. SOB. Oh yeah, and I'm miserable sick, too. With a sick husband and daughter to boot.

So until I can get that done, please update your blogrolls, etc. I assume that Reader will recognize the change, but I don't really know for sure. I guess we'll see.

Thursday Thoughts

- I was saved from a ticket yesterday by someone flashing their lights at oncoming traffic to warn us of a speed trap. I haven't seen that in a long time. A big thank you to that guy. Not that I was speeding. Nope, not me.

- My daughter deliberately kicked me in the teeth this morning as I was trying to clean up the Teddy Grahams she had dumped on the floorboard from her carseat. I had to count to ten and remember she's just a little thing, because that hurt like a sumbitch.

- Remember the TV that cost us almost $1K to fix last December? Yeah. It died. Rather than throw bad money after good attempting to fix it, AGAIN, we opted to get a new one. Of the LCD variety my husband has been ogling for some time now. Neil's dad went along to help select and transport the new TV. There's nothing like large electronics for a little male bonding.

- And about that new TV. We watched 2012 on it. The high density, ten bojillion pixels per inch didn't make it any less ridiculous. But holy crap is the picture awesome.

- The SITS Bloggy Boot Camp is this weekend. I am SO excited to finally see *in person* ladies that I have been reading and corresponding with for so long. Not to mention all of the new friends I know I'll make. It will be good times, indeed.

- Have you stopped in to BlogTrotting today?

Distractions

I am an avid crossword puzzler. One of my favorite things from my old job was doing the New York Times crossword every day at lunch. Monday through Wednesday we did them individually and raced to be the first one done. Thursday and Friday, we worked in teams.

I was a Jeopardy addict for many, many years. I even had a Playstation version that I won't tell how many hours I spent playing.

After Sophie was born, I spent a great number of hours doing sudoku puzzles. There were books littered all over the house, half-filled or all but a few done, those that I couldn't quite finish, but wouldn't give up on.

These are all part of a greater love for pushing my brain. I don't do the crossword or sudoku much anymore and I haven't watched Jeopardy regularly in quite a while, but I do still love brain teasers.

These days, I typically find my intellectual diversions on the computer screen. Thank goodness for the internet. And I have just found one heck of a diversion. Sporcle. From Pixar movies to US States to TV nicknames. There are hundreds of quizzes.

I dare you not to spend an hour on there.

**Before you do, though, head on over to BlogTrotting, we're on a great tour today! **

Wednesday Wonderings

- I hung this on my door just before the blizzard of 2009 and since it's been up, we've had crazy snow. We got another six inches last night! I'm not going to say I have control over meteorological conditions, but you do the math. (Click on it for a larger image. It says Let It Snow.) ALERT: I just saw that we're supposed to get up to two feet later this week. YOWZA!

- I crossed down into a new 10s in my weight. I'm at my lowest since mid-2006 or so. I even squeezed my skinny ass into one of my pre-PRE-pregnancy jean skirts the other day. I'm like a supermodel or something.

- I just finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Loved. It. Go get it. Now. You're welcome.

- Speaking of help, Sophie's new thing is yelling out "HELP!" when we take her away from something she wants to be doing. Which is kinda funny at home but not so much when I'm trying to wrangle her on my way out of a store. While my fellow customers contemplate calling social services.

- I made "Greek" spaghetti and meatballs last night, which by the time I got done modifying it was not very Greek (I used spaghetti instead of orzo and beef instead of lamb), but who's counting. Anyhoo. Neil was raving about it until I told him the secret ingredient in the meatballs: cinnamon. Then he was like, "I don't know, it tastes so CINNAMON-Y. Can't we just have regular spaghetti and meatballs." Note to self: Next time, SHUT UP. Do not mention the something unusual about the food.

- Did y'all watch Lost last night? Are you as confused as I am? 15 episodes left. I am sad for it to be over, it's good TV, but I am READY to understand what the hell has been going on for the last six years.

Have you checked in over at Blogtrotting yet?

Sunday Afternoon

Husband and daughter are asleep together in the recliner. Scenes like that touch me in a way that a hundred posed situations never could.

Meanwhile, I'm laboring to finish our holiday cards. I am the ultimate last minute Lucy, nothing gets my creative juices flowing like an impossibly close deadline. I've been trying to come up with our card for weeks. For reasons I can't explain, I just can't order one of the perfectly adorable cards a la Tiny Prints, I need to create a unique and personal Christmas card.

It's not a foundation in graphics or the arts. I was an economics major, people. Which isn't to say I don't have my creative tendencies, but I have always gravitated towards the sciences and math.

So here I am, racing to get this thing done and mailed in time to arrive before Christmas. While just a few days ago, I sat in front of the computer, staring at a blank screen, now the ideas are pouring out. The burden now is to select the one that best represents our little family.

Decisions, decisions.

Neil picked his favorite. Went right to it from the dozen or so choices and proclaimed it the absolute best. Do I agree? Not 100% sure yet. They're all my babies and I love each one for different reasons.

I'll print out a tester and sleep on it.

Speaking of, I think I'll go join my family for a snooze in front of a football game we care nothing about.

PS - We got our tree up and mostly decorated today. I think I'm FINALLY getting some of that Christmas spirit I've been hearing so much about.

Bubbles

When I was making dinner for the Bean and I tonight, she came into the kitchen with one of the little bottles of bubbles leftover from her birthday party. She squatted down next to me and worked on the bottle, removing the decorative ribbon and stickers before beginning her assault on the lid. It's tight and tough to get off, especially for little hands.

I watched her doing this while I chopped sweet potatoes. I was making sweet potato fries, one of her, and my, favorites. When I had finished with the fries, tossing them in oil, evenly laying them out on a cookie sheet and throwing sea salt over them, I put them in the oven and turned my attention fully to my daughter.

She was getting frustrated. Unable to open the bottle, her toddlerness was showing itself. She squealed, not the happy kind, and handed the bottle to me. I opened the bottle and brought the lid to my mouth, blowing out a stream of bubbles. Delighted, she danced around, my little imp, catching and popping the bubbles. Laughing.

I watched and counted the bubbles. There are two kinds. Heavy ones that fall and pop quickly, and light ones that seem to defy gravity as they dangle endlessly in the air.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom called me up, worried. I had written a post that said to her that I was not okay. It wasn't so much the words, but the way I had phrased things. Subtleties. It had gotten her mommy sense tingling. My mom worries. Not without reason. My family is not short on crazy. We wallow in it. Rub it in to our skin.

But that is not, was not, the problem. I was just frustrated. I was having one of those days you have with toddlers. Too little sleep, too much screaming, not enough caffeine. I was cranky, and rueful, and angry, and heavy. There are just days like that.

But that day passed and with it the heaviness. We are back to our usual buoyant selves. Today, we are laughing and joyful and light. Sophie and I and the bubbles. We could float all night.

Friday Fancies

- I had my first photography class last night. I got an SLR last Christmas and I barely know how to use it, so one of my girlfriends and I are taking an intro class at community college. I was actually kind of nervous going in, but I really enjoyed it. Even if I did get the stink eye from the teacher for talking during class.

- Daylight savings continues to kick my butt. Sophie, despite going to bed at her normal time, has been getting up an hour early all week. If I take a nap in the afternoon, I have trouble going to sleep at night, but if I don't take a nap, I'm run down from lack of sleep and still can't get to sleep until midnight. This girl needs to sleep in.

- I just bought Happiest Toddler On The Block. I had kind of decided that I was done with parenting books, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I had to put Sophie in time-out no less than 10 times yesterday. Including once at Old Navy. And that's not counting the 3 times the ladies gave her while at gym childcare. I liked the Happiest Baby book and this one came recommended by a good friend, so hopefully we can make some positive changes. Before this kid drives me to drink. More.

- Am I the only woman that looks at other women's behinds and wonders how mine compares to it? Ie, is it bigger or smaller? Not in criticism of the other women, but just wondering how mine looks to the world. As an aside, the other day a girlfriend of mine told me what she weighed and I about fell off my chair. I thought we were close to the same size, turns out she's FORTY pounds lighter. Clearly my perception of myself is WAY off.

- Sophie loves the movie Cars. We start it all the time, but never finish it because we'll stop it to go, you know, DO SOMETHING. So yesterday was the first time I have seen the end since I first saw it several years ago. When Lightening pushed Mr. The King over the finish line? Waterworks. I'm such a sap.

- I'm going away for a girls' weekend next week to the mountains of Tennessee. It's only the second time in her life that I will be leaving Sophie. Teensy bit nervous, but so excited for this little vacay. Mama needs a break.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday Wonderings

- Thanks to being sick for the last four days (I'm much better now) I am now hugely behind on prep for Sophie's big 2nd birthday party this weekend. I'm getting a little panicky.

- The good thing about being sick? Five pounds, baby! Don't worry, I'll gain it right back this weekend in Halloween candy and cupcakes.

- It looks like Sophie's illness is just side effects of the Flu Mist vaccine she got on Friday. Which I would have known if I read the info sheet they gave me. Nope, I had to call the doctor's office for them to tell me. Parenting Fail.

- Mike Rowe is just so darned cute. Did I ever tell y'all that he went to my husband's high school? Graduated with my sister-in-law. She doesn't remember him. Crazy, right?

- I think being a stay at home mom would definitely qualify as a dirty job. Just the amount of shadoobie I have to deal with on a daily basis should be enough to merit that title.

- I went to the Halloween store yesterday. Why are all women's costumes so slutty? And the little girl's costumes? Not much better. Seriously, people, that is just all kinds of wrong.

- I really don't love open toed boots. They just seem wrong. I mean, boots are for cold, open toes for warm. It's like when I see the girlies wearing Uggs. In July. In LA. Imagine how sweaty their feet get. Blech. I think I'm too practical to be truly stylish.

- That movie The Men Who Stare At Goats actually looks kind of funny. Will I be the only person in the movie theater?

- I went to Big Lots today and spent ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS! I didn't know that was even possible. On the upside, I am now the proud owner of a Halloween lawn sign and hurricane candle, an angel costume for Sophie, four plastic cauldrons and a case of water, among about 8 other bags of probably unnecessary sundries. My mom will be so proud. For real.

Fall(ing)

"I haven't been feeling so great the last couple of days. I've really been making mommy's life hell. Getting up in the wee hours. Being cranky and clingy. Fighting whenever she tried to give me medicine.

Now, just as I'm feeling better, she's starting to feel sick. My evil plan is coming together. Mwa ha ha ha ha."


PS - I've been nominated for a Mobbie! You can vote once a day for one blog in each category (I'm nominated as a Family Blog) as well as for Best Overall Blog so please vote as often as you can.

Shampoo and Cilantro

- Almost every time I take a shower, when I reach for the conditioner, I forget whether I have shampooed or not. To be sure, I shampoo before moving on to the conditioner. I'm pretty sure that I wash my hair twice at least half of the time. I must because I go through A LOT of shampoo.

- Sophie always has bruises all over her body. I am puzzled by this until I look down at my own body and realize that I, too, am covered in black and blue spots. Clearly, we are a graceful family.

- I just discovered, after six years together, that my husband doesn't like cilantro, which is one of my favorite things in the world. That pretty much closes off the list of my favorite things: artichoke hearts, capers, asparagus and olives. Sigh.

- I ordered something to be delivered "Ground." Does that mean they actually truck it across the country? Why would that be cheaper? It takes four days (at least) to get from coast to coast and uses a crapload of gas. If that isn't right, then what does it mean and why do they call it that?

- I might be becoming an Ebay junkie. There's just so much stuff. I am powerless to resist. This could be bad.

- I'm starting to feel like I can't leave the house with the Bean anymore. Every outing is disastrous. Even to the park. What. the. hell? She has become BEANZILLA.
















- Only one week to Blogher! I have so much to do. I'm getting my eyebrows threaded tomorrow. I need to get a mani/pedi at some point and I still need to figure out exactly what I'm wearing, which might require some more shopping. Darn it. (That was sarcasm, btw.)

Have a great weekend.

Wednesday Wonderings

- I cut up three jalapeno peppers and my hands are still on fire, like 10 hours later. Does anyone have any tips for preventing/fixing this?

- I'm having a helluva time sleeping lately. Not sure what the deal is, but I am not liking it. Update: Sophie let me sleep in this morning until almost 9am!! That is unheard of around these parts. She is normally up before the sun. Of course she was necked and covered in pee when I went in there, but it was a lot easier to tolerate after a good night's sleep.

- I really love it when it cools down enough at night to open up the windows.

- There is a lady at my gym who is there every time I am and she is always chewing her gum with a big open mouth (even though there is a gym rule against gum). She looks like a cow with her cud. It's disgusting.

- My allergies are going crazy right now. I touched my raw nose with my jalapeno hands. HUGE mistake.

- I believe my daughter might be a cheerioaholic.

- I can't decide what to do with my hair. I have an appointment this weekend and I don't know if I want to start growing it out or clip it back up short. Decisions, decisions.

- Just two weeks until Blogher. Squeeeeeal!

What Comes Around...

The other day I was complaining talking with my mom about Sophie. She said that when I was a baby, she told herself that I was such a pain that she wouldn't even wish me on me. Does that make sense? As in, you know how parents always say, I hope you have a kid just like you so you understand what it was like? Well, even in her extremely frustrated state, she couldn't bring herself to wish me on anyone. I was that bad.

Of course, I got a child who is as feisty as I ever was. Maybe more. I at least slept through the night at some point. Sophie? Still thwarting my every attempt at a good night's sleep.

Here is what she has accomplished so far today, and it's only 11:30:

Climbed up on her changing table via the Diaper Genie and a drawer she pulled open. Ingenious.

Ate A & D Creme (while sitting on the changing table). Sucked it straight out of the tube. Yum.

Dumped out the contents of my bedside table. Including those things that I now realize need to be better hidden. (ahem)

Spread about 150 diapers around her room. Luckily they were clean. I won't tell you about the time she got into the diaper trash can. (shudder)

Threw my hairbrush in the toilet.

Chewed on my toothbrush, then tossed it on the bathroom floor when she lost interest.

Threw a Snapple bottle, retrieved from the recycling bin, into the powder room sink. Huge amount of noise, luckily, no breakage.

Pulled every toy out of her toy box seemingly looking for that one thing...

Tried on one shoe of every pair of shoes she has, a not insignificant number, and carried the matchers to an undisclosed location. I will probably still be finding shoes long after she has outgrown them.

Stripped off her pants and diaper no less than 6 times. (We had a major accident yesterday following one of these depantsings. I still can't even talk about it.)

and...

Pulled out a nearly full box of Kleenexes into a surprisingly big pile. They compress a lot in the box, but when fluffed? Look out!

She is now peacefully napping in her crib. I can see her sweet little form on the monitor. She is on her side, her chin tilted up just so, her little arms stretched out at an awkward angle. No doubt she is exhausted from her morning's activities. I love her so much it hurts, but if she's like this at 18 months, what am I in for when she's older?

Update, 5:15pm: In trying to climb onto the dresser/changing table again, she pulled it over on herself. By some miracle, she is completely fine. I, however, am dead from a coronary.

Day 91

I am...

...well rested.

...losing weight like I was on Survivor.

...a compulsive cleaner.

...overjoyed that my daughter keeps doing the same thing over and over and over and over after I have told her NO over and over and over again.

...delighted with the goings-on in Washington.

...loving that the cat once again woke me up in the middle of the night.

...pregnant with octuplets.

...enjoying this separation anxiety phase Sophie is going through.


NOT!


I AM going to go take a nap.