I am not loving this stage of her life. I don't know how to deal with it. She is too young for time out. Beating her just makes her cry louder.* And there is no rationalizing with her. So I pretty much just ignore her. This feels so wrong, but I don't know what else to do.
Neil keeps talking about getting pregnant again, but the idea of having another child right now is right up there with having my finger nails removed with flaming barbed tweezers. There is no more effective birth control than a screaming toddler.
*KIDDING. I DON'T beat her!
Oh, but she is sooo cute! I know tantrums are hard to deal with... and when they happen all the time, it's so hard to figure out what to do to make them stop, you know? How about changing the subject - get really excited about something, let her play in the sink? This is what I do! Oh, and chocolate usually works too! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOne of the parenting books - maybe Happiest Toddler - says something about it really being the terrible 1 1/2s - 2s, not twos. Supposedly, some kids have more tantrums pre-two than the do after two, when they have more language. I do not know if this is true, but I am telling myself that it is, because it makes me feel better and sometimes a mama needs straws to grasp to get her through the day. Axel, too, has taken crazy pills and is a tantrum monster.
ReplyDeleteI ignore them, too. I've also realized I give WTF eye to Axel, not intentionally or as a part of a parenting strategy (do I even have a parenting strategy?), but because I'm really wondering what the hell is going on.
My oldest is almost 4 and the tantrums are still happening. I wish I had some answers as far as what to do. Sometimes I'm the windshield.....somtimes I'm the bug.
ReplyDeleteI said, after my first, that I didn't want anymore children. Your heart will let you know when you're ready.
BTW, I meant to say, my youngest is almost 4.....my oldest is 8.
ReplyDeleteBut the sweet newborn snuggles are even better when toddler is tantruming... so says me, anyway.
ReplyDeleteOh, Cara, I'm right there with you. I, too, read that 18 months can be worse than 2, and then things get bad again at 2 and a half. I don't know, but we're at 22 months, and some stretches during the day are living you-know-what. Ryan's going through a HUGE language burst (which, in turn, is keeping him from sleeping and keeping Jerry and me from doing ANYTHING), so the kid's getting the words to communicate his feelings but still resorts to whining and crying all too often. Three times yesterday (after picking him up from daycare) I found myself saying, "if Mommy has made you angry or sad, I understand and you can tell me so, but YOU MUST NOT HIT MOMMY." Last night, Jerry said to me, "Can we send him back and reclaim him when he's 18?" I told him he didn't mean that, but I have to admit, it didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time.
ReplyDeleteTantrums ... you try to fight them a million and one different ways, but they seem to know your only goal is to shut them up so they keep screaming.
ReplyDeleteShe's not too young for time outs, it's just that you will have to reinforce it alot at that age. I think they say 16 moths? My sisters kid is about that age and she does them.
ReplyDeleteNot that they work well, but it's a great primer for what is to come sistah! lol
I hear tantrums are a good sign of a kid who will be an independent thinker. So you're in good shape! ;o)
Xander is FULL into that mode too. I have put him in a "time out" corner for a minute or two (he HATES it--and I pretty much stand there with him, but with his nose to the corner) and now when he is freaking out, I can say, do you need a time-out? And it gets his attention enough to make him settle for a minute--long enough for me to distract him with something-ANYTHING-else. Two is not pretty a lot of the time. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think some days it's my child's mission to drive me absolutely insane!
ReplyDeleteThe tantrums are what gets to me the most. Ignoring them definitely worked when he was younger, and then we moved to time outs.
Good luck!
Tantrums. Eeek!
ReplyDeleteThe Tormenting Three's. EEEEEKKKK!
I'm dealing with both right now. I also am ignoring. It's the only thing that works. That is after he screams/fake cries for 15 mins. Then he gives up. Good times.
Oh the tantrums are so hard! Although sometimes Pickle is so dramatic it makes me laugh! I think ignoring is your best bet--sometimes distracting works, but it just depends. Don't worry--it will get better soon!!
ReplyDeletethe best birth control is being divorce although the tantrums certainly help
ReplyDeleteTwo years old is hard! I am so there with you. And you are right somedays the screaming is enough to make you want to drink wine all day long.
ReplyDeleteI feel ya. I really do. And it's going to get worse before it gets better, I'm afraid. One thing I do that seems to ease things is talk about what we're going to do next and how we are going to act about it 5 or maybe 10 minutes before we actually do it. You don't think they can understand such a thing, but they do. ANd for that 5 or 10 minutes I remind them several times of how this is going to go down. And it works most of the time. And when they DO comply, I tell them how unbelievably awesome they are for "listening to mama." And when they dont, well I'm bigger than they are and they get picked up and carried out, carrried in, whatever the required action would have been. No drama from me.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, my daughter has been much better at this practice than my son. So let's hope it's because girls are a little more responsive to reason. ;-)
Good to read. I thought I was alone. My son falls out on a fairly regular basis. Lucky for me he usually saves his antics for home. I guess it is just the age. It is easy to say but difficult to deal with we will get through it together!
ReplyDeleteOh Cara I so remember those days....just think how hard it would be to be a little person and want to communicate so badly with words but just can't. So here come the tantrums. Sorry but ignoring it only puts a temp bandaid on the situation. Been there done that! I say try the time-outs. Until you can tell her to use her "words" to get through the issue some form of discipline must happen. Hell....Jalen is 15 and he throws teenage tantrums, Malik displays the pre-teen version and Kalil throws his, but I'm the baby ones=)
ReplyDeleteLove you!
*I'm w Neil, what the heck go for another one!
ALOVE
I agree with those who said the pre-2's are worse than the 2's. I thought the 2's were mostly great!
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass!
I am with ya sister.
ReplyDeleteI swatted Summer today and she swung back!
I say no, and she will say No ten times louder.
Diversion is the key!!!! That is all I have come up with! Cause you can't reason with them. You can't hit them. Argh!!! D-I-V-E-R-S-I-O-N!!
. . . this too shall pass . . . (smiles)
ReplyDeleteWhew, I'm with ya sister....all ine started at 18 months...the 3 1/2 still has them as does the 7 yr old....now I'm depressing myself..they do get fewer so hang in. And just find what works with her whether it's ignoring or diverting...something will click just keep at it.
ReplyDeleteYou know what this means, right? Time to have another :)
ReplyDeleteLet her have her tantrums now so she gets them out of her system or you will have a tantruming 5 year old. Trust me, no one wants one of those! At least at Spohie's age they are still cute.
ReplyDeleteGREAT birth control.
ReplyDeleteAw, I go away from blogger world for 6 months and she has grown so much!! :) Temper tantrum stage is THE best birth control ever in my opinion. Like imagine have the temper tantrum child and a crying baby at the same time? No thanks!!
ReplyDeleteI am telling ya...toddlerhood is NOT for the faint of heart. I think we don't need water boarding, we need to put prisoners in a room with a tired 3 year old. Oh...they'll talk.
ReplyDeleteOh I can relate on so many levels. I think the reason why I was so afraid to try for another child sooner was because of the tantrums.
ReplyDeleteI'd tell hubby that on some days, I wasn't even sure I wanted the one we have. Nevermind another one.
Kidding of course. Sort of.
Welcome to Toddlerhood...lol! I love the pics though! I started putting Addi in time out around 18 mths...of course it wasn't for a long time and it was for only the major things and would get her attention. Good luck and don't worry go ahead and get yourself knocked up again!! ;)
ReplyDeletetis true. never stopped me from getting knocked up before!
ReplyDeleteOh, I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteGirls are fussier than boys.
Maybe you'll have a boy next.
Don't wait forever to have another one. Just get it done. But wait til after November, 'kay?
Remember, this too shall pass. Maybe she's getting all of her fussiness out now, and she'll the best teenager ever. (One can hope, right?)
Isabel was a fuss butt, and she's the best girl now (at age 9). I'll wish you luck :)
Cara,
ReplyDeleteI am just getting all caught up on your blog. This was funny! I'm loving the photos -- sorry to laugh, but that's what happens to me. When all the crying and screaming reaches a breaking point, I smirk. Little J will scream and moan and look at me pleadingly and then I sort of just giggle at him.
-Katherine (parkingspot)
I just re-read this post and I wanted to say Thank you for sharing. I am in 18-month old hell today. I can't laugh any more, I can only cry.
ReplyDelete