Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Knockin' At My Door

Yesterday morning, as I sat on the floor of our TV room playing with my little Beansie Weensie, I was startled by the sound of the doorbell. As a rule, I am skeptical of people coming to my door unannounced. It is almost always someone selling something. But at 8am on a Tuesday, I doubted this was the case. I eagerly ran upstairs thinking "that husband of mine, says he doesn't have anything planned for our anniversary and he sends me FLOWERS!" I peeked out the front window. No flowers. Instead, there stood a man in a police uniform. My first thought was "STRIP-O-GRAM!!" But closer inspection of the spindly mustachioed* gentleman standing on my front porch showed that if he were, in fact, there with exposure on his mind, the treat would NOT be mine. Therefore, my rational mind concluded that he must be a legitimate cop.

My mind raced. What had I done? I have been quite good lately, but had something from my nefarious past finally caught up with me? Did it have something to do with the case of the sticky fingered cleaning lady**? Had something bad gone down in our neighborhood? I've been trying to talk Neil into moving, a crime spree in the neighborhood would be just the thing to further my cause. I contemplated not answering the door, but my sense of civic duty won out and I swung the door open.

"Hello. Did you call 911, ma'am?" He queried.

Open mouth, confused look, "Wha? 911?" I stammered before the realization hit me. "Ohhh, no..." as the memory of my darling daughter playing with the phone flashed through my head.

"Dispatch thought it was a child, but we figured better safe than sorry. Is everything okay?"

Unable to string together a sentence longer than two words in my embarrassment, I sputter "Yes, fine. Sorry. My baby. Sorry. Sorry." And I close the door on the nice officer.

Lesson #943: Letting the baby play with a phone is not a good idea.

*Why do all cops wear the 'staches?

**A long story that after two more trial dates I will hopefully be able to finish when it finally gets resolved in January.

20 comments:

  1. Oh so you have a child that dials too? My son has called all sorts of people - he actually has reconnected em with some people I havaen't talke to in awhile!

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  2. Little stinker. A strip-o-gram would have made some excellent blog fodder!

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  3. At least it wasn't Botswana...or Iraq. Thank God he was nice about it.

    I'm so sorry it wasn't a Strip-O-Gram. I think it's what you really needed yesterday.

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  4. Thanks for the lesson. CRW was just playing with our phone yesterday, and the thought of 911 did pass my mind. But I thought "Nah, no way". This story proves me wrong. BTW, happy anniversary!

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  5. OH NO! lol. how funny! (well, NOW it is!) We always gave our kids OLD cells that didn't work but still lit up. lol

    Were you serious about going to court on that? hope not!

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  6. Wow, in our city they just call back and give you a lecture.
    Heres hoping that next time is a stripper-gram. ;)

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  7. Yeah, what is it with the mustaches already? My kids have been toying with the phone too, but not quite smart enough to assemble the numbers in any reasonable order as to cause dispatch. I'm glad to know they showed up anyways, though.

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  8. I actually just TAUGHT my five year old how to use the phone to dial 911 and gave her a speech as to when to use it and when not to. So far so good. No men with mustaches at my door, anyway.

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  9. This has happened to me before. How embarrassing! My son when he was a baby, played with the phone and called 911. I didn't know, and hung up the phone and went about my day. The 911 dispatcher called my house, and when she asked me if I had called, I quickly told her it must be a mistake.

    She then said "Is someone making you say that mam'"

    I swore I was fine, and red faced hung up the phone....Too FUNNY!

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  10. While it's embarrassing, aren't you glad that someone was coming to check to make SURE you were okay? The PO-lice aren't all bad (mustaches withstanding).

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  11. LOL... get that girl a play phone!!! Glad he was nice about it!

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  12. I'm new here! What a great blog :) ♥ Hugs!

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  13. Can we say "Opps!" Better to give her one not plugged into the wall.

    Oh course getting her in the habit of using a phone will make it harder when she's a teenager...

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  14. Oh boy. Maybe you need to run to your nearest Verizon store like we did recently - and ask for their "fake" phones. Its a huge hit with Carley and she no longer wants the "real" one!

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  15. When Teddy was 3 or 4 he called 911 on purpose b/c we asked him to clean up his toys! SO embarrassing!!

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  16. Oh my.

    AAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    I don't know why that is so funny.

    The comment above me is cracking me up.. poor Jennifer.

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  17. too funny. my cousins kids did that 2 times. apparently, you get in A LOT of trouble the 3rd time. mady calls my parents all the time. once she dialed, got my brother and said "oh sh*t" and then handed the phone over to me.

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  18. No 911 calls around here yet. But the Bub has accidentally recorded a few answering machine messages, leading to much confusion for callers, who hear static, Bub babbling, and me (not knowing I'm being recorded), yelling at him to leave his brother alone.

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  19. Ahhahahahahahaha! Did the cop think it was funny? Probably not, come to think of it!

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  20. I've done that before. I was cleaning my room and my phone kept falling and I got tired of picking it up, so I just let it be. I hadn't realized that the receiver hit the emergency button as it fell off the hook!

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Give me some sugar, baby!