I went out to dinner with my girlfriends last night. This is a ritual that takes place the fourth Wednesday of every month. I am not sure how long this has been going on, but I've been going for a couple of years now. It's called "Hon Night" after the infamous Baltimore Hon. I don't think any of us could actually be considered Hons, but it's the sentiment that counts. Whoever has a birthday that month gets to pick the restaurant. There are a core group of women that typically show with a larger group that rotate in and out based on their availability. Interestingly, of the core group of about ten, five of us had babies within three months of each other.
Every time, I tell myself that this time I will not spend the whole time talking about my daughter and each time I spend the majority of my time talking about my daughter. I think I am a reasonably intelligent person. I follow world and national events. I have a degree in economics, which should be good for something in these times. I have traveled to more than a dozen countries and have seen a good chunk of my own country. I love movies and actually see quite a few, although I make it to the theater less often these days than would be my ideal. Netflix is a new mother's friend. I am an avid reader covering everything from the classics to modern pop literature. I'm currently working my way through the Twilight series (which depending on who you talk to falls into both of those categories), but I am taking a break to read Moose, A Memoir of Fat Camp. I have a passing knowledge of three languages. I have been a rock star bartender and a corporate marketing honcho.
And yet, despite all of this, I found myself uttering the phrase "color in equals color out" in reference to the contents of my daughter's diaper. Last night. At the table. At a restaurant.
What happened to the interesting version of me?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
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It's amazing, isn't it? I wonder that about myself all the time...
ReplyDeleteIt happens to the best of us. Keep up the good work with your "Hon Night" its good to have life outside of our children. As much as we love them, being a full time mom slowly chisels away our pre-mom selves until were a puddle of mush. Getting out restores us just a tad. Although I don't mind being mom mush, I need to able to hold an intelligent conversation now and then. I went to nursing school with a woman who was so ditzy and had little self-confidence, which she attributed to "being home for the last 8 years with three kids". I vowed I'd never let this happen to me.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think about this all the time. I mean, why do I have to be cool? What even is cool? I want to be a MILF, and I'm so not one. Why does this bug me so? I think for me it might be that big ass birthday coming up. Again, why do I even care?
ReplyDeleteWell it's great you have that group of friends and dinners to look forward to. If you friends are mothers too, I bet you're not the only one.
ReplyDeleteOK, stop...
ReplyDeleteI'll finish the rest of this once I get past the "taking a break" from the Twilight series.
Really?
Hilarious. It only gets worse and worse until you can't even remember the time that you were interesting. :)
ReplyDeleteWe all do that! I think it gets better as the kids get a little older, but when they're little everything they do is new and exciting and amazing. When they get older, you sort of start to find yourself again and begin to have other interests. But I think it's great that you have "Hon Night" b/c it's really important to maintain your friendships and have a little time for yourself (even if all you do is talk about your kid!)
ReplyDeleteYour group sounds sooo fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed with your travels, language skills and professional life. You are still interesting!
From one of the Hon's...you are so not alone. I feel this way too, especially when I catch one of the glazed-over looks from one of our non-mom members. But, in reality, our children are a huge part of our lives. A very important part! And we all love talking about them. Truly...it's not ALL we talk about! Luv ya...Heather
ReplyDeleteIt happens to the best of us. Our life suddenly revolves around something so small and adorable.
ReplyDeleteThat is why on the presious dates that I do get to have with my hubby that we do not talk about the kids. We talk about us. We want to remember what it was like to have it be just us so when it is us again we have not forgotten why we fell in love. I hope that makes sense.
I love that you have a group that gets together, cherish that, it is sometimes the only adult conversation a mom has for weeks.
Thanks for stopping on the layover from BATW. It has been so fun to get to visit so many fun bloggy women.
Its ok. We've all been there. Today, while at lunch with my handful of single, clueless-about-kids friends, I made the mistake of saying "hey, guess what we're doing this weekend?" To which they respond with excitement: What? And I say "going to look at a Little Tykes kitchen that even has food accessories!"
ReplyDeleteI experienced the glazed-over look...and realized my excitement is completely lost on them :-)
Don't worry--it happens to me too!
ReplyDeleteHow nice you get together w/ your friends monthly--that's a great tradition!!
Unfortunately now, that IS the 'new interesting version' of you! Especially hangin out with all the other new moms. Your common bond is now poop and spit up. (ahhh, the 'old days', when a good night was sleeping one off withOUT throwing up!)
ReplyDeleteMy daugher is LOVING those Twilight books. As with Harry Potter, I didn't even know what they were until she read 2 or 3 of them. I hear there's a movie coming out in November? It's all she's talking about.
Lol! There is a group of younger women who work at my office and regularly come in hung over and with wild stories to tell. I want to shout: "I used to do that...!" I did. I used to drink shots all night long and make out with my best friend for attention. They used to call me "Legs." I swear they did. No one believes me.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm middle aged, have grey hair, would have to go to the ER if I did a shot and my legs are best kept covered.
Before Avery was born, I couldn't imagine using the word "poopy." But I did within two days of her birth, my mom snickering off to the side because it sounded so funny coming from my mouth.
For the most part, I don't care. I'd rather wake up early, drink my coffee (decaf of course) and read the paper, than suffer thru a hangover. Being a good mom is more important now than being cool.
But I do remind myself from time to time that there will have to be life after Avery. I don't want to be one of those moms who loses themself in their kids' lives and then can't let go when their grown.
Whoa... back up... degree in economics??? World travler?? Multi-languages.
ReplyDeleteI may have a spot for you in my cabinet if you are interested..
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Minister of Really Smart Stuff
You prolly served me a drinnk or 12, but I, too, have fallen down the path of parenting/poo-poo/and potty training talk.
ReplyDeleteIt happens to the best of us...
I used to be cool too, really I did. And now, as I've blogged about, I struggle in social setting with other adults unless called upon to talk about poop/sleep/eating issues for the under 3 set or reality television.
ReplyDeleteThat's the cool thing about you hon! I have actually realized recently, that I know a frightening amount about pregnancy, babies, and now toddlers (enough to be VERY afraid to attempt owning one.) But I am not friends with you, or any of my mommy friends who used to (unfortunately) hold my hair while I puked because you have a respectable major or fun job. We're friends because stories about poop can be just as great as stories about the jackass client that farted in a meeting. It's all in the delivery.
ReplyDelete